This woman makes me soooo angry!

[Seven]

News of the last 9 days is that Bro5 (uNPDm’s primary do-for-her) has been in the ICU  with diagnosis still unknown.  They’re treating him like C19 though 4 tests came back neg.  he almost didn’t make it through last Monday.  Finally hit step-down late afternoon yesterday.  Because of the “unknown” he has been on C19 protocol.  Means absolutely no visitors. Regular hospital visitation is normally one person once a day in general due to C19, so better make it worth while, right?

Due to whatever illness that he has, his apartment was covered in shit...literally shit.  Like total loss of bowel function.  Unspeakable visions.  You don’t even want to know.

Anyway, after 4 neg tests Sis1 comes down this past Friday with long time family friend (and Bro5 FwB) so the three of us can get his apartment cleaned up. I called her before she left and said “can you stop real quick and get my DH his favorite donuts for his birthday?”  So she does.  She buys a half dozen, two for DH and some for everyone else. 

We had to go by uNPDm place to get her medication sorted out for the week, so Sis1 brings in the donuts to share. 

The first thing uNPDm does is start the fake crying act.  “But I havent even see Bro5”.  Yeah, well guess what...none of us have,  nor are we allowed to.  Of course she didn’t like being told that. 

So, anyway, back to the donuts.  Sis1 brought one extra of the same flavor that DH wanted because it’s what uNPDm likes too, and then one for the three of us (so 2 for DH, who is at our home, 1 for uNPDm, and one each of variety for me, herself, and Family friend). So the four of us each eat one. Leaves two left over that are DHs. 

So we fill the pills, have a short visit, and scram out of there to assess Bro5 apartment and what kind of PPE we would have to wear. I’m holding DH donut box.  I just step over the threshold to outside.   UNPDm says “where are you taking those?”  I said “these are for DH like I said when Sis1 brought them in”.  She says “well, you can just leave them here on the table.”  I said “no Ma, these are for DH for his birthday”.  This woman, I swear, if she had the strength to SLAM the door she would have.  Let’s just say she abruptly shut the door in my face with eyes like daggers. No goodbyes.  No “thanks for coming”.  Nothing.  Just shuts the door in my face.  Over freaking donuts!

I swear this woman would tell me she hates me if it didn’t make her look like a bad mother in front of everyone else. 

I should add, that while we were there Bro5 called family friend’s phone and I answered it while she was in the bathroom. I took the call outside away from uNPDm.  Bro5 determined my name from my place in the sibling line, so that’s a good thing.  Tells me he almost didn’t make it past Monday. Talking very slowly, etc.  I  asked him “do you want to speak to mom”. His answer.... “no”.

[blacksheep7]

Seven,


Sorry to hear about your brother.   It is already difficult  to go through the emotions of having a sibling that nearly didn't make it, you have M that overides the situation and puts the attention on her (the crying).  Oh my, did you really need that ?  No.

You are one strong woman to put up with your M and how you handle/respond to her, especially being worried about  your brother's illness.


I say this having had a NM who would complain that  (well, we all know that they always find some reason to complain) that she wouldn't see her gson (my ds) as much as before.  She was telling me this (I'm still in the fog at that time) as I was telling her that I hadn't seen ds in  a long time.  He was busy building his company. 

At at the funeral  parlors, she plays the victim as a widow, talking about herself. 

best wishes

[Andeza]

So much drama! Over donuts... sheesh.

Sorry you're dealing with this Seven. I want to add it was beyond kind of you and your family to clean up your brother's apartment. I don't think I could have done the same. Think I would have just had to cut someone else a check for that.

Sounds like she thought the waterworks would get her down to the hospital to visit her son, foiled there she settled on ALL the donuts. I swear some people in this world have eyes in their head and ears on the side and never bother to use them.

Hugs to you. You exhibit the patience of Job.

[Seven]

Blacksheep, it's amazing how quickly she can turn her emotions off.  Crying over not being able to see Bro5, yet dagger eyes at me for not leaving donuts.  I told Sis4 the donut story.  She said she doubts it was really about donuts.  So I said "what was it about then?"  Her answer "well, you know she's not in her right mind". My response "then she needs to be someplace else other than where she is".  UNPDm is also "depressed".  She "doesn't want to see anyone". Threatened to miss her last grandsons graduation party this Friday (last year she threatened not to show up to my sons wedding).  Sis1 and Sis4 and spouses are coming in from out of town for this event.  She wants to be fawned over.  I won't do it. Sis1 won't do it.

Andeza, That was the plan at first, but when Sis1 went in, there was absolutely no way they could allow any other human being to witness the carnage of his illness.  It is still in the plan to get the carpets and upholstery steam cleaned professionally.  I donated new mattress pad, new-to-him sheets, pillows, vacuum.  It was a pigsty before he even got sick.

Now the problem is the other sibs trying to get Bro5 to call uNPDm to make her happy  I keep telling them to stop!  It's not HIS (ESPECIALLY in the throes of whatever this illness is) responsibility to manage her emotions, nor is it ours.  They don't like when I say that.  They worry about her happiness.  I keep telling Sis4 that it's not our job to manage her emotions nor make her happy.  Again, they don't like when I say that.  I guess I come across as "mean". 

It's amazing how FOGgy some of them are.  The other two Bros for sure are deep.  Sis4 should know better as well because uNPDm lived with her for 3 months in sunny state and that didn't work out too well. 

On a better note, Bro5 is most likely to be discharged tomorrow, still with no formal diagnosis. 
Oh, I left out the brain tumor.  Yeah, while he was in the ER they gave him a CT of the brain because he was dizzy out of an abundance of caution. Brain tumor size of a golf ball.   This is his second one.  It's in the same spot as the first one.  The first one was 32 years ago and the size of a softball. So he's got that going for him too.