Land lady is going off PD playbook during pandemic and is now abusive

Started by OddFamily, June 14, 2020, 09:41:08 AM

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OddFamily

Ok, so to keep a long story short, over a year ago I began renting a room in a townhouse with full house privilege.  This was going wonderfully, land lady said I was a model tenant.  However, the pandemic hit.  My job is in the health care administration sector, meaning I do not see patients, my office isn't anywhere close to patient areas, and our office has taking such precautions to protect every staff member and patient that we've gotten a commendation from the county health dept.  I've also been ruled essential personnel under federal law, so I have no choice in the matter but to work.  She knew what my job was before I moved in, it was never a secret. 
Land lady hit the roof, started loading all kinds of restrictions on me, some sensible (take off your shoes), some not (can't use the common dish towel, can't do dishes).  I basically isolated for a bit to give her time to cool off, but she hasn't.  Being isolated was really doing a number on me, so I decided to see what she would do when I broached it in a non-confrontational way (using the kitchen).  She acted textbook passive aggressive and continued with her campaign of you're contaminated. 
Her behavior is violating the spirit if not the exact letter of the tenant harassments laws, and we have no firm calendar on what this pandemic is going to do, this behavior could continue for as long as the virus hangs around.  I understand being scared and I can forgive it, but to quote one of the practitioners at work that made me see what's going on 'it is ok for her to be afraid, but it is not acceptable for her to abuse you'.  She ferreted out it was emotional or verbal abuse from the get go, and she was right. 
So I've started looking for a place to move to, but it will take some time.  How do I survive until something comes through?  I don't have enough to afford an apartment on my own (priced out of the market), do any of you have an idea of how to find a similar situation to where I am now (renting a spare room or apartment, finding a roommate, etc).  I've been getting word out to friends and coworkers, but if there's other avenues I'd like to work those too.       

BeautifulCrazy

Have you tried online?
Facebook marketplace. Local classified ads or classified sites online. Area schools like Unis or Colleges might have a housing connect site or office. Dorm rooms are also often empty and cheap to rent this time of year.

clara

I suspect your landlady is trying to get you to move, and she's succeeding.  Her requests may sound unreasonable to you but they're reasonable to her, and she holds the upper hand.  If she doesn't want you around, moving is the best option because it's hard to win something like this and you have to factor in how much time and energy you want to devote to it.  Better to devote that energy towards looking for another place, and in the meantime try to play by her rules so she won't escalate.  Go MC and keep out of her way as much as possible.

It often seems friends have the best resources, once you get the word out.  Sometimes someone who normally doesn't have a roommate will be glad to have the extra income if someone they know is looking, especially if it's a temporary situation (you can work on your finances in the meantime).  If you think there's a possibility of finding an apartment you can afford, try local realtors.  Many of them have places they rent out. 

OddFamily

All my friends and coworkers know, but nothing's panning out, no one has extra room or it fell through.  Realtors won't touch it, tried twice, was laughed out of the office.
She's escalating again, this whole 'I am contaminated' narrative is getting old, puts me back in a very bad headspace. 
The college dorms in the area aren't going to work as everything's locked up tight due to covid, and I haven't found a single trustworthy online listing, way too many people who don't understand the difference between roommate and date.