Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

[LemonLime]

I just read the PDF version of this book for free.  I assume it's the same as the full book.  I found it quite helpful in understanding my FOO.

This book posits that there are 4 types of emotionally immature (EI) parents.    Mine fit the "Passive" type very well.   Not surprisingly, these are the type that do lots and lots of things right, but are very uncomfortable with intense feelings and confrontation (and they fly below the radar often).   Turns out that this is quite devastating to some infants/children.   I think it's safe to say that my sister was devastated by my mom, even though my mom scored very high in lots of the other elements of being a good mother.  And FWIW, my dad didn't jump in and save the day either.   For whatever reason he seems to have gotten off the hook in the child-raising department, as he was at work a lot.  We just didn't expect as much from him.

This book states that children of EI parents will be Externalizers or Internalizers.  By this standard, my sibling was an externalizer, and me and internalizer.
Might be genetic, who knows?

Anyway, the paradigm works for me.  It also discusses general emotionally-immature traits, and what to look for in emotionally mature relationships.  Who doesn't want more of those?
It's good to see some of this stuff in writing, even if some of it should be common sense.