Radical acceptance - of me.

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Associate of Daniel

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Radical acceptance - of me.
« on: December 08, 2021, 09:18:35 AM »
Radical acceptance is such a gift.  The kind of gift you don't want but really need.

I've been able to apply it to the pds in my life :  They won't change, or do the right things  or ever care.

I think I still need to work on radically accepting myself as I am when dealing with them.

I don't like who I am when dealing with them.  I come across as rude (I don't respond to a lot of their emails.  I don't talk to them or look at them when in their presence. I often don't talk to other people when the pds are around.)  I come across as ridiculous. (I hide behind poles and corners or other people when in their presence.)

I behave those ways as a means of protecting myself.  It's not to hurt them.

I understand that.  I just need to accept that about myself a little more radically.

AOD

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JustKeepTrying

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Re: Radical acceptance - of me.
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2021, 12:01:57 PM »
I'm not sure if it was you but I am reading a book recommended here on radical acceptance.

It's hard to accept.  Part of the difficulty for me is I feel by accepting I am removing my hopes and dreams.  I don't like being a person who no longer dreams, wishes, or hopes.  I don't like that hard edge you need to deal with PDs - feels so foreign to me. 

I like being kind and open and direct and honest.  Going MC or grey rock is necessary when dealing with PD but it took every ounce of my energy.

I suppose that is why I was married to one.  My empathy was his energy source.

Perhaps it's about framing or spinning the reason.  I am putting that hard edge or boundary with PDs so that i can continue to be open, direct, kind and honest with others and myself. 

This is a hard road to walk.  Glad you and all here are there to walk it with me. 

You are really challenging me lately AOD.  Thank you

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LemonLime

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Re: Radical acceptance - of me.
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2021, 03:54:44 PM »
Oh this is a great thread!  Thanks for starting it AOD.  Can't wait to write a bit more when I'm off work.