Just...tired

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losingmyself

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Just...tired
« on: October 13, 2021, 04:37:18 PM »
Do you ever get to the point of feeling like you just can't do it anymore? Put on the happy face, smile, claim that everything is ok, just to keep the peace? Honestly, it's exhausting.
Today, I feel like that. And I don't know how to handle it. I don't even have the energy to make myself feel better, I just don't care enough.
Earlier, during our 15 minute break, in which I am required to answer every text within a minute, or I'm doing something nefarious, H said that the kid he works with said that he just saw me drive by. To me, it was ridiculous, because I'm at work, so I said something jokingly, smart-ass. Whatever.
At lunch, I said, "so the kid saw me drive by earlier, hu?" Thought we'd have a laugh about it. H didn't laugh, he just said "yeah" I said something like "Funny, because I was at work" And I get a snort and an eye roll, like "Yeah right."  This is my life.
I'm just so tired of it. So, so tired of it. I wish I could run away.
Do I just wallow in my self pity for the day?  Days, months, years go by, and it's all the same. Tomorrow I'll have energy to put my fake smile back on, and there goes another day. I'm not getting any younger.

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escapingman

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Re: Just...tired
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2021, 05:13:36 PM »
I am there, I had enough. I have no energy. I want my life back. I met with a solicitor today, maybe you should too?

I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through.

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losingmyself

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Re: Just...tired
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2021, 06:21:36 PM »
Thanks, E.M.
I have been following your story, and my heart surely goes out to you. I wish all the best for you, and I am so happy you are moving forward. I am definitely cheering for you!
Although my situation isn't as severe as yours, it's nice to have people who can understand how it feels to live like this.
I don't know if I am at the place where I will contact a lawyer yet. I need to gain some more strength, and maybe talk to someone in person. I am just not there yet. 
God bless, and thank  you, and good luck moving forward. Remember, we're all in your corner!