*Trigger Warning* PD sex...all opinions & viewpoints welcome

[2_exhausted]

Hi.

I was involved with an UNPD. We are over. There was a point in the relationship he was unable to have sex with me due to the fact he had/chose to sleep with his son...and every time something would begin, in his room, the child would bang on the door, screaming to be allowed in....a huge turn off.

Fast foreword 6 -7 years, and I apologize if this is TMI....I had pain....I was bleeding every time....it was due to early menopause. I told him this...he works in the medical field so he understands physiology. He tried to force me on Estrace....
I opted not to due to being afraid of an estrogen related cancer.
Anyway, I had no problem with other things so he could achieve orgasm, just not intercourse, this upset him....and he would rage when I would say this...it got to,the point we rarely kissed...because we both knew where it would lead and I though why would I allow someone to cause me to actively bleed?

I even offered to go on bio identical hormones...as he was a pharmacist,  I asked him to help me figure out which pharmacy compounds these, as they will have a physician's name or a few, then I could have a consult....no, too much trouble for him...

**i was raped at one point in my life.**

I was getting the "intercourse lecture" quite frequently... and it did not matter what else occurred sexually..but I am not a man, maybe I do not understand.
So I said maybe I could get drunk and take a benzo, and maybe that would stop me from stopping it....well he was all for that...it never happened, thankfully.

I told him, he was never sorry about the lack of sex for the year he needed to sleep with child, and I was trying every way I could think of to solve it....

He despised me for this as I have the nasty texts stating this...he also stated he feels "all women over 50 are scamming me".. I asked for what? Well, we just are...now if he had an ED issue, I would have dealt with it, because I did love him..

Any input?

Thank you for reading.

[notrightinthehead]

Gosh, what a painful experience! So glad you no longer are in this relationship. You experienced abuse on so many levels.

[bloomie]

Count me as another one who is thankful you are out of this relationship and finding your way to healing. Much strength to you!

[2_exhausted]

Thank you Bloomie & Notrightinthehead..

I have been working on my codependency & to get rid of the fantasy of "who I thought he was" vs. the real Narc in front of me. I am trying desperately to understand supply to a Narc.

This thought keeps running through my head.."will he treat the new woman the same Narc way?".  Right now he is love bombing her, which he needs to because I will never, ever speak to him. While cleaning out my nightstand I found an email, 14 days after our first date...total love bomb words..

I was told to refer to HG Tudor about Narcs, however his YouTube videos are disturbing.

I am sad for myself on the time I wasted, but know he will never hurt/abuse me again.

Hugs.

[Associate of Daniel]

There are numerous youtubers who speak on narcissism.

I've found Dr. Ramini and Dr. Les Carter to be very calming and very informative.

It's likely your ex will treat his new supply the same way.

Unless, as in the case of my uNPD exH, he hooks up with an uNPD who is far worse than he is.  It's very sad watching him fade away under her abuse. 

AOD

[ToAudrey]

2_exhausted I've found dealing with working through "who I thought he was" difficult and necessary. Sorry that you had to go through such pain but good to hear you are working on healing. I don't have much helpful input but see a common theme of the uNPD having no regard for the partner even in the most intimate situations.

AOD mentioned Dr Ramini and I've found her videos insightful.

[2_exhausted]

****trigger warning ****

Thanks ToAudrey,

I realize any regard he showed was false. I heard from his own mouth, his own words the zero regard for his wife suiciding. Just typing this makes me cringe...this was his only child's mother. He did NOTHING, not even a 911 call when she was waving the gun....they were associated for 27 years....Yet if you would meet him professionally or at the beach, the majority people would not see past his facade. He is not over the top charming like the sociopath I had dated...just affable.

He is a coward.

I will look at those YouTube videos you & AOD suggested. I find HG Tudor disturbing..