She is alive,but dead

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She is alive,but dead
« on: August 01, 2020, 04:59:24 PM »
This site has helped me accept the reality of my NPD mother. She is 90 now and living in AL in another state( unfortunately confined to her room (5 days after she arrived thank you covid)) having been taken by younger brother & family She had moved to  my state after my father died 23 years ago.Active,but never liked it here.  She lived in a senior community had several "friends" SHe traveld to several conties with a group that did half home atays and half hotels,so it was affordable for her .My GC older brother lives here too  100 mi. away. She stayed with him for 8 wks before leaving and hospiced in his home. She has no interest in living and is miserable. It was not a good situation. I stayed out of it as much as possible. I am an RN for 44 years and she did not appoint me medical power , so I knew little about her conditions. She has had previous psychiatric admissions. Her mental illness is not accepted by my 3 brothers. They just always said I didn't "get along" with my mother. I was 14.. I tried to explain the abuse & toxic behavior but they blew me off.I finally dropped the rope and didn't care what they thought.  .She was hospiced in their home for 6mos and then lived past the 6mos the Dr's said she had. My SIL wanted her out. Long story ,longer my, brothers are now estranged over her financial and will matters.
I & my husband shared our lives with her often throughout the 23 years. Never easy. All the symptoms and toxic behavior we all know about here were present...every single time. I went VLLC with her sometime ago .
After her suicide attempt one year ago,my prayer was answered when bother took her away. I saw her on a Friday . On Sunday she took the antidepressants she had been stockpiling. She had left her apt. door open so someone found her still conscious and intervened. When I spoke with her in the hospital she said"She did't take enough to do the job"
I just spoke to her,she is in bed ( 2pm ) and barely able  or wanting to talk  to you. No interest,nothing. It is the saddest case I have seen ( I had my nursing training in a state psychiatric hospital) Locked wards,patients standing in line for their meds.THe look is all to familiar . Breaks my heart.
Now,just waiting. For the call that tells me she has passed. I do call her weekly with the same waify tone,Never asking how I am. Just nothing really.
It's a beautiful summer day. Think I'll go outside :)



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Re: She is alive,but dead
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2020, 05:59:18 PM »
That's sad onewayoranother. Sorry you're in this situation. I sure wish all of us here didn't have to deal with and be brought up by NPD people. The 'never asking how I am' you wrote about is very familiar. Same old thing, it's all about them.

Yes, go enjoy the day!  :sunny: