Doing better but feeling lonely...

[BefuddledClarity]

Doing a bit better than before, in regards to getting my feet out the door. Been applying for jobs just recent-ish and had a couple of bites. Then, I'm planning on going back to college, hopefully soon...Also, gained a new friend who GETS me. She's awesome and our backgrounda are EERIELY similar, which is great!

But...I feel lonely. I feel like I can't talk to my ACoN partner much despite similar backgrounds. I've also stopped talking to my (enabler/PD)siblings recently and don't talk at all to my PD/enablerparents.

It's like...I don't have any family I'm close to except for my son(who's a baby). Then I have that one friend who's cool but I don't want to be overbearing and annoying.

My feelings are complicated...I've been thinking on and off to separate from my partner because he surrounds himself with PD people(my in-laws, his friends) and to completely cut-off my siblings(the older ones are enablers and the youngest is PD). I get rather stressed out...

Anyone else relate?

[1footouttadefog]

Those are huge decisions you are contemplating.  Its perfectly okay for you to feel stress when evaluating such things.  The mere fact you find yourself thinking these decisions over likely reoresents even more stress over the events and behaviours and or abuse that brought to this place.

Be kind to yourself.  Engage in as much self care and as holistically as possible while you process all of this.

[BefuddledClarity]

1footouttadefog,

I may go ahead and take some time off work for self care. Been getting stressed there lately. I keep wanting to quit but it's not a choice right now until I get a new job.

Everything happening in life feels so...new and frustrating(job, baby, finances,etc). The pandemic kinda makes it worse. But...I'm going to keep trying.

My home life isn't much better. Constantly arguing with my spouse over small, stupid things and dealing with his alcohol addiction...


I just want some peace. All I need to do is work things out on baby steps...