My childís father is passive aggressive and emotionally abusive

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AIWMV

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Hi,

Iím new to this forum and Iím having a very difficult time with my childís father. I suspect that he may have undiagnosed BPD. Before this pandemic hit, I had cut off all contact with him except when it concerned our child. We had no formal custody arrangement, so I would meet him in a neutral, public place for drop offs and pickups with our child. I only communicated with him via text, and it had to be about our child. Otherwise, I wouldnít engage.

My mother who is very high risk for developing complications from covid were she to contract it resides with myself and my child. Because my childís father and his family are taking little to no precautions to prevent themselves from catching covid, Iíve been spending time with my childís father to kind of ďoverseeĒ that heís being safe when in the presence of our son (ie wearing a mask and staying outside). The constant emotional abuse I am once again receiving is unbearable. I probably should have mentioned that I originally left him due to extreme verbal abuse.

Anyway, Iím really struggling, and trying to juggle keeping myself, my child, and my mother healthy, and enduring his psychological torture feels like itís driving me to the brink of insanity. Looking for support.

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Penny Lane

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Re: My childís father is passive aggressive and emotionally abusive
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2020, 12:33:05 PM »
Hi and welcome.

That sounds like an awful situation. I thought coparenting with a PD was the hardest thing I could imagine ... then came coparenting with a PD during a pandemic.

I hope you'll come by the coparenting board and share more of your story. There are lots of others who maybe aren't in your exact position, but who are dealing with COVID carelessness from an ex (along with verbal abuse)

 :bighug:

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AIWMV

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Re: My childís father is passive aggressive and emotionally abusive
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2020, 01:54:44 PM »
Thank you so much for your response. Feeling isolated in this mess has been brutal. Iím sorry that youíre having a difficult time as well. Iíll check out the co-parenting board. ❤️

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Hidden_Shadows

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Re: My childís father is passive aggressive and emotionally abusive
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2020, 03:08:55 AM »
I'm so sorry for you, that's a rough situation to be in. I can completely relate with being forced to spend time over and over with abusive family, and it's never easy in the moment.

While its not 100% effective, I would highly encourage you to look into getting a legal custody agreement. Sometimes having a court order can make things a lot more simple and safe. My cousin was able to get one which required his abusive ex-girlfriend to have CPS present anytime she was with their children.

Ultimately you are doing the right thing now by protecting your kid. and I wish you all the best for both of your sakes. You are not alone, stay strong and keep on fighting!