I'm new here

[btrcg]

Hi all,
I have been reading the post for a while.  So glad I found this site.

My spouse was diagnosed with anti-social pd, avoidant pd, masochistic pd,  is a "recovering" sex addict and has unfocused adhd.  Due to my age, there is no way right now that I can financially be on my own. 

I have been reading so many articles and books on how to live with someone like this, but sometimes it's good to know I'm not alone.  I realize he will never change, especially at his age, and I'm finally beginning to do the self-care I owe myself.  We have been married 26 years.  Three years ago, when I found out about his lifelong addiction and his betrayal, his mask came off and I saw the person he really is. 

I also know from therapists and reading that he probably stopped emotionally maturing around 3-5. 

I also know I should not respond to his antics but it's hard when he triggers me.  One night, I told him to stop acting like a 3 year old, and that's exactly what he did--act like a 3 year old, talking in a 3 year old voice, standing there in his underwear, going on and on, making fun of me.  That was a new one for him.  I normally respond but all I could do is look at him and calmly walk away.  I think I finally realized the seriousness of his disorders.

Any feedback will be helpful.

Thanks...

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome!
You will find a lot of information and support on this site. Check out the toolbox for strategies that might be suitable for you. The chosen relationship board might be the right one for you at the moment.
See you around on the boards.

[PeanutButter]

Hello btrcg welcome! Im glad you decided to join the community.

My reactions to triggers was a really big hurdle for me. I had tried so hard to no avail to gain control. It was when I started focusing on my body and the physical responses in my body during a trigger that things started to change. The attention on what is happening physically (typical fight or flight) along with simple breathing exercises gets me out of 'stuck in my head'.

IMO The empowering thing is to realize that I am playing a part in the 'relationship system' therefore I can change my part to break the cycle. It does require detachment emotionally ime because I have to let go of needing/wanting/trying to change the pd's part.