Being Defrauded out of Inheritance by Family

[Lookin 2 B Free]

I know my parents were disordered.  I thought the rest of us, the "kids," were just badly dinged up and in need of therapy.  Now I wonder.  There's an absolutely ludicrous pretense that we are a close, loving family.   It's as if everything will be fine as long as no one tells the truth.  I never remember it not being this way.  It worked on me . . . it took years for me to come out of denial . . . and I'm still coming out of it!

I have an older sib who scapegoated me.  We've been VVVVLC for many years.  That older sib is executor of both parents' wills.  It appears all but certain that he is defrauding me out of a major portion of my inheritance.  The fraud took place some years ago while both parents were alive, but not of sound mind -- too long ago to take legal action. 

I guess you might call the rest of the inheritors FM.  I never thought of that before, but what are people who are blindly loyal to an abusive person, always, always, take their side, and attack you if you even gently question anything?    Since the decline (and death) of our parents, and the need for a huge increase in communication with family, am I getting my eyes opened!

This stuff is really triggering anger, over the present situation and the years of abuse.  I just found this out and will consult with professionals on how to proceed.  Does this situation sound familiar to any of you?

[Pepin]

I am so sorry you are going through this. 

First, you must obtain a copy of the Will if you have not already.  If the Will is not being executed as outlined, then you will have to hire a lawyer that specializes in family estate and trust matters and go after the executor.  Make sure that any legal fees will be paid out of the estate if you win and not come from the portion that you would receive.   You shouldn't have to pay  a dime for this kind of abuse if the executor is going against your parents wishes.

[M0009803]

Yes.

I have dealt with a similar situation.  Took me a few years to receive what I was entitled to.

They will make their own "reality" about what you "deserve", irrespective of the will or any laws.

Because he is the executor, be prepared for a lot of stonewalling and stalling.    As Pepin stated, get a hold of the will first to see what the situation actually is.  Beyond that, start researching the estate lawyers near you, because in my experience until a legal professional gets involved, they will just ignore any inquiries you make about the inheritance.

[Lookin 2 B Free]

Thank you, Pepin & M0009803.  The fraud occurred many years ago, before the death, by having a parent with severe dementia sign the assets over and saying it would make it easier to distribute later.  So they were no longer covered in the will.   

I believed it.  I've had little to do with this sib for a very long time and didn't realize this might happen those many years ago when it was done.  It never occurred to me, in fact.  It makes me ill.  I didn't think this sib had a PD or fleas or whatever else makes a person do that.  Though signs came up later that there might be some unfairness -- but not THIS much unfairness.

I've had enough experience living with a PD to know they make up their own rules around "fairness" based on their emotions and whether they're idealizing or devaluing you.  And whatever they feel like at the moment is what you "deserve." 

I'm wondering about timing.  The info I have so far is that it's way too late to litigate this, though it's worth following up on.  In an earlier part of the initial, much smaller, distribution (which was still covered by the will), I had an innocent question.  That earned me ire, slowing the process way down, and refusing to communicate with me at all for months.  I feel I'd be better off if I wait to receive the portion which is being dribbled to me (which will total maybe 20% of what I'm owed when it's done).   Once I raise the issue, I believe all hell will break loose and payments will end.   I guess I can quietly inquire more without tipping anyone off yet.

Man, how I hate walking on eggshells with an abusive person.  It's been a little while since I've felt I had to . . . and it really sucks!

[Phoenix Rising]

Yes, sadly this is something too I have experienced.

When my father passed, uPD grandmother became his executor and claimed all of the assets he had. She also applied for his pension benefits months later behind my back. In order to do that, she lied to the government that he had no surviving children/grandchildren. According to the law, being his only child, I was entitled to everything before anyone else. When I found out, it was too late to do anything... and to be frank, I am VLC with her and don't want to rattle the hornet's nest.

Like LM0009803 wrote, they act only on what they perceive you to be "deserving" of. Some are really brazen and operate regardless of what laws or regulations are in place, if they think have a reasonable chance of getting away with it. They do this with no remorse or consideration for how others feel.

Sorry that you got defrauded, it is a really low move. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone