So glad to find this site

Started by Sylvan, August 09, 2020, 12:43:55 PM

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Sylvan

Hi everyone. I'm the mother of 23 year old with type 1 diabetes and mental health disorders, including anxiety, depression, and bpd. He dropped out of college and lives with us, if you can possibly call it living. He stopped any treatment, along with antidepressants, last fall. His fury and frustration over the diabetes and being insulin dependent - it is so sad and self defeating, since he was diagnosed 5 years ago and just can't grow up and deal with it. My husband, and my son's dad, also has type 1, and cares so well for himself that it's an inconvenience, rather than a tragedy, but our son says he simply cannot tolerate life with diabetes. He is furious with my husband and me for ruining his life, and he has a warped memory of our imperfect, but not abusive, past. He won't get a job or do anything but molder in his room, playing video games and smoking weed. It seems so hopeless in our home, and it's like having a monster in the basement. Every day I wake up and the first thing I think is, what awful thing will happen today. I am definitely right smack dab in the FOG, and we are all so stuck. It's been impossible for me to draw a line in the sand, because if he leaves, I expect that he will die of diabetic coma under a bridge somewhere. Anyway, sorry for going on so, but it's suffocating, especially with the pandemic overlain on everything.

notrightinthehead

Welcome! I am sorry you had to find us and glad that you did.
It is never easy having to deal with a person with a personality disorder,  much harder still when it is the own child.

Please read the Toolbox, especially what not to do and start to apply the strategies that are suitable for you. There is a board 'Parents discussion' where you will find posts that deal with problems that might be similar to yours.

Looking forward to your posts.
I can't hate my way into loving myself.

tragedy or hope

You are so welcome here. Come often. Read other peoples stories.

I remember my first days on this site. I asked myself, "what am I doing on a site like this?" ... until I found I was not so different or alone in my struggles.

Be good to yourself. It's the one thing you can control right now.  :wave:





"When people show you who they are, believe them."
~Maya Angelou

Believe it the first time, or you will spend the rest of your life in disbelief of what they can/will do; to you. T/H

Family systems are like spider webs. It takes years to get untangled from them.  T/H

Starboard Song

Radical Acceptance, by Brach   |   Self-Compassion, by Neff    |   Mindfulness, by Williams   |   The Book of Joy, by the Dalai Lama and Tutu
Healing From Family Rifts, by Sichel   |  Stop Walking on Egshells, by Mason    |    Emotional Blackmail, by Susan Forward

Boat Babe

Welcome Sylvan 😁

This website and forum have been an absolute godsend for me. The information on the website is spot on and very enlightening. The forum is a haven of sanity and compassion be in a world gone mad. You have a difficult road to travel, but you are not alone.

Much love.
It gets better. It has to.