Somatic complaints

[11JB68]

Updh has many somatic complaints. I've posted before about wondering if he is malingering, since sometimes he claims he can't do this or that but other times seems fine. I was reading today about pwbpd having somatic symptoms. I wonder...
It's his knee or his back or his feet... Now he's had headaches 'for like 5 days', sometimes it's stomach/digestion....
Never ending...
He needs me to feel his forehead 'am I hot?'
He's getting a cold, or maybe it's allergies...
He's SO tired, needs to lay down, feels 'woozy', can't sleep...
Anyone else see this with their pwpd?

[SparkStillLit]

I wrote in my journal years and years ago (it is among my things that have "disappeared") that updh had more medical complaints than any supposedly healthy, not hospitalized person I had ever heard of in my entire life.
At the time, I thought it exceedingly odd.
20 or so years have gone by since I wrote that. Some of the complaints have changed, but the premise is still there. Nothing has "developed" into anything. Just a bucketload of vague, sometimes concerning, ongoing maladies.
The real ones I figure, are the ones he's gone and seen the Dr. There have been a handful. The rest of it I ignore.
I mean, maybe I don't do good enough ignoring, he must be getting SOME mileage out of this after TWENTY FREAKING YEARS. I didn't always ignore, true, but as the years pass I'm getting ignorier by the minute.

[losingmyself]

Ignorier..
love it..
I have a sign in my bathroom that says 'Everything is Figureoutable'

[11JB68]

Spark, yes! Really since we were first married!
He had a rash for years, always with an ever changing remedy that I had to make sure we had well stocked.
I also remember having to 'call him out sick' from work.

[SparkStillLit]

He'd not ever skip work that I can recall, but he'd certainly skip out on other things he didn't care to do.
This is still the case, though now it's less physical and more "stress". Gets mad if I just preempt the whole show, though. Ok, yeahhhhhh, I'm supposed to give people their own voice, but come ONNNNN, do I want to be a participant in the goat rodeo when I already know exactly how it's going to play out, because of how it plays out EVERY SINGLE TIME?
No thanks. *I'm* skipping out on *that*.
It's just one of their many annoying monkey wrenches. In fact, I think that socket is stripped out. Go peddle that nonsense somewhere else.

[11JB68]

Spark, I have to ask...
What is the origin of your wonderful phrase, 'goat rodeo'?

[SparkStillLit]

One of the flight nurses I used to work with used to call things a "goat rope". Goats hate to be roped, and unlike calves who run straight for their mamas, goats stop short, run sideways, jump up, turn around and go the other way, in short it's a real hot mess. A whole goat rodeo would be the worst CF you could think of.

[Stillirise]

I actually started to make a similar post about this issue. For uPD stbx, there seems to be a direct correlation with the onset and worsening of his symptoms, and me enacting gray rock, then filing for divorce.

He has been diagnosed with an autoimmune issue that has been attributed to stress. It started with pronounced anxiety and claustrophobic type panic attacks shortly after I went gray rock last year.  It has now progressed to something more chronic, and he has been referred to a specialist.

He blames me, by saying I am putting all of *my* anxiety onto him, which is why he is so stressed, and all of this is happening to him now.  Maybe he is on to something—I certainly do feel much less stressed and anxious, with him out of my home.  The less contact I have with him, the better I feel.   I've somehow managed to dump all my anxiety and stress over into him, right?! 

An aside...I'm from the southern US, and am also familiar with a goat rodeo. It's the best way to describe the ongoing chaotic disasters of life with a PD, without resorting to profanity.  I personally identify with sh*t show to describe life with the PD at the moment, which is similar, but possibly slightly less chaotic. 

[Boat Babe]

My grandmother was "dying" from as far back as I can remember. Again, all vague symptoms and continuous moaning. She died on her 101st birthday!
My mother, 87, and on tremendous form from where I stand, is equally afflicted with medical trials and tribulations and is obsessed with her diet. So, so tedious. Any sympathy I had is utterly exhausted.
I've got friends who live with truly challenging health issues who never, ever complain. But they have healthy personalities.
It's attention seeking of the highest order, deeply dishonest and a drain on medical provision.

[11JB68]

Boat babe: "It's attention seeking of the highest order, deeply dishonest and a drain on medical provision."...
Attention seeking yes.... Dishonest-very interesting, you're right... And uocpdh prides himself on being honest to a fault... Yet if he truly is fabricating or exaggerating somatic issues this is a lie.
It's a drain on me... He rarely has ever give to a Dr so he's not drained the health system...