It's Getting Stressful - AL Placement Jeopardized

[Lookin 2 B Free]

PDm is hallucinating, depressed, wants to die.  Lots of daily communications from AL staff who say they may not be able to keep her there -- too high need.  I'm her POA.    It's dreadful for her and not too nice for me, either. 

There have been times in the past when I was so fed up with her PD I could barely feel any compassion.  I'm not there now.  Sometimes when we talk on the phone (which is spaced to spare my sanity) the conversations get really creepy with the paranoia.  It reminds me of childhood and I feel slimed.  Sometimes it just seems really sad.  Mostly, I guess, I barely have time to know what I'm feeling until the next phase of the crisis hits.

I've got various people trying to get this thing in manageable shape so she doesn't have to move.  I guess if she does, she does, though.  Just not here. 

I'm trying not to spin out with the stress and triggers.  Not sleeping well these past nights.  It's good to check in here with people who understand and don't just think I'm not doing enough as a dutiful daughter.  Thanks for listening!

[SunnyMeadow]

How stressful for you! No wonder you aren't sleeping well. I'm glad to hear your conversations are spaced to spare your sanity.

We do understand. Take care and do some nice things for yourself. 

[Adrianna]

It sounds to me that she belongs in another facility, one that is more suited to her needs.

Your best bet is to talk to the social worker and see if she can connect you with a geriatric psych social worker (my grandmother was in a geriatric psych hospital and it was the social worker there who helped.) This person who could make some suggestions. Not all nursing homes can handle this, but many can and those are the ones you want to look into.

I'm POA too and without that I wouldn't have been able to get her placed. Let me know if you need any info on all this as I have plenty of experience now!

I know you probably don't want to move her but there is a place that can handle her with ease and her behavior won't be challenging to the staff there as they are used to it. She will adjust and you won't have to worry so much!

Oh and no, she is not to stay with you so make that clear if asked. Given her condition I don't think anyone should even suggest that but you never know. This is beyond your ability to provide care, even if she did not have a personality disorder. The stress involved would break anyone. Don't forget self care during this. I know it's stressful but you will get through it.

[Lookin 2 B Free]

Thanks, Sunny and Adrianna!   I have a friend who's a psychiatrist and has seen her before.  She got involved today and is starting her on more meds.  If that doesn't work, I may be in the position of seeing what other facility would be best.  There's a lockdown memory unit in town, but that's more for Alzheimer type stuff and not psychosis.  Anything else will have to be in the closest city, hours away. 

Keeping my conversations with her shorter is helping me feel better.  One day at a time. , ,