A great article: "The Jesus Who DIdn't Please Others"

[bloomie]

Just wanted to pop this article here addressing the misconceptions of 'servanthood', many that I was indoctrinated in during formative years, for others who may have experienced similar exploitation and spiritual manipulation and the confusion and angst that can arise from those misconceptions.

I read this and felt validation and assurance as I found, all in one place, a helpful look at the choices Jesus actually made in how He served others. And how disappointing those choices were for so many.

https://www.nacr.org/families/resources-for-codependents/the-jesus-who-didnt-please-others

Trust this will be an encouragment for someone else today!

[Free2Bme]

Thank you Bloomie,

Great summary in this article, it helps to calibrate and restore right perspective. 

I found #7 is where I struggle most.  Not so much that I expect something in return like thanks or appreciation, but I tend to neglect my own restoration at times.

There are a few more that could be added 

Thanks for sharing!

[bloomie]

Free2Be - I can so relate to 'neglecting my own restoration'. What a perfect way to express the lack of self care I have shown myself over time. And the giving to the point of exhaustion and depleted reserves was a regular part of my life.

I was labeled 'selfish' early on in my life and 'service' (as defined by them) was THE TROPHY on the mantel of my parent's home and that same focus was echoed in the faith communties and teaching I was part of growing up. This flame of over giving and having small regard for myself and my well being was fanned just about every place I went.

Misconception #2: To be a servant I must become something like a robot – brainless and uncreative – or I must do the opposite of everything I dream and desire. The truth is that Christ came that we might use all of our God-given gifts, including our mind and creativity. The more we become like Christ, the more our will and God's will become one. We will desire God's will and God will be a cheerleader for us. See: Psalm 20:4, 37:4, 103:5, 145:19; Ro. 8:5

authors: Peter Robbins and Kevin Downing (see link to full article above)

Debunking this misconception has been a joy! But, oh my goodness was it a painful path getting there.

To begin to live in freedom and allow the creativity innate to me to flow and to even allow myself to dream of a self determined future and lifestyle - and then to follow that dream despite the naysayers, saboteurs, and shaming I experienced as a grown adult... well, I think I am still exploring this one even years later!

I have learned to live with being a disappointment to others when I choose a path that is best and right for me and in line with my core values and passions.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Thanks for this. This could be the outline of a book. Each of those could be expanded upon greatly! Of course when the lies are written out like this they appear ridiculous. Which is why it's so important to see them for what they are!

I too have gotten burned by a lot of these lies, because I sincerely wanted to be a good person and Christian.

#7 is a biggie for me, too. Lifelong conditioning leads me to not often be aware I'm over extended until it's way too late, and then the programming is to just push through anyway, because thinking of oneself is unChristian. Because I'm so compassionate and always put others first. It's the one thing I can remember my mother really praising me for. But it was so bad for me. The ideal was constantly pouring oneself out as Christ on the cross. But there was no balance. I was expected to exhibit that level of self-abasement as my regular standard of being. Beyond Christ, in a way, because He only died ONCE, okay?

There is a false idea of humility that is super destructive. Humility is recognizing what is reality. On the one hand, without Him I can do nothing. Truth. But I am also a daughter of the King and Christ came for ME. In His eyes there is nobody more important than me. That is also truth. Real humility is recognizing both. But somehow we only focus on our smallness, not the greatness of His love.

[Tranquil]

Wow! This is great. I grapple with faith constantly but I think maybe that can be a redeeming quality. I see very sick people who proclaim their love of Christ loudly and constantly, yet never stop to think about the pain they inflict on others. I think they misinterpret the symbolism of Jesus crucifiction. IMHO Jesus was crucified partly because he was viewed as a threat.  I kind of view that as parallel to being persecuted by people with personality disorders. They're afraid of people who threaten their own self-delusion. They cannot question their own self image so they drown out those of us who contradict that image in any way. And if they want to be right they just quote something from the Bible that justifies they're bad behavior. Because the Bible is the ultimate authority of values and morals right? Personally I could be way off but I think I'm on to something.

[Mary]

Right on Tranquil.

For me #4 is something I really grappling with right now--God does not take responsibility for every decision but grows us as we grapple with issues. On one hand, I can read Phil 4:6 to not worry about anything but let my requests be made known unto God with prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving. But just stepping back and waiting for a miracle might be the lazy way out when in reality I need to make the tough, unpopular decision and stand by it with God's help. (And not torture myself with fear of making the wrong decision!)

Thanks, Bloomie, for an article that validated my musings.
Mary

[Adria]

Thanks for the great article Bloomie. A word in due season.

[Spring Butterfly]

Thanks for this I printed it out and want to go over the scripture references to reinforce The ideas and maybe take some notes as well

[Mary]

me too