The Scorpion and the Frog Story

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guitarman

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The Scorpion and the Frog Story
« on: October 11, 2020, 06:06:36 PM »
The counsellor and author Kris Godinez who specialises in Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome frequently mentions "The Scorpion and the Frog" story.

"A scorpion, which cannot swim, asks a frog to carry it across a river on the frog's back. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung by the scorpion, but the scorpion argues that if it did that, they would both drown. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: "I couldn't help it. It's in my nature." "

Can you identify with the story?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog
"Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace." - Dalai Lama

"You don't have to be a part of it, you can become apart from it." - guitarman

"Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can." - Anon

"If it hurts it isn't love." - Kris Godinez, counsellor and author

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Free2Bme

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Re: The Scorpion and the Frog Story
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2020, 06:23:00 PM »
My T has used this as an illustration several times with me. 

What stands out to me is :
1- The Scorpion had nothing to offer the frog
2 - The frog overrode intuition about being stung/exploited when presented with a lie
3 - Scorpions are willing to do anything, even self-destruct, in order to act upon destructive urges
4 - Both the frog and the scorpion were acting according to their natures'

It's interesting that the frog asks 'why' the scorpion stung, instead of 'why' did I believe the lie.  This kind of thinking keeps the focus/power/responsibility upon the other party, rather than owning the choice to comply and accept the consequences. 

I'm wondering if this is one of Aesop's fables.


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Mamu

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Re: The Scorpion and the Frog Story
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2020, 02:59:32 PM »
This story is so good. In the book - The Wisdom of Psychopaths by Kevin Dutton - this story is referred in many a chapters. I'm putting a wall quote or a scorpion and a frog.

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Boat Babe

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Re: The Scorpion and the Frog Story
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2020, 05:36:32 PM »
My T has used this as an illustration several times with me. 

What stands out to me is :
1- The Scorpion had nothing to offer the frog
2 - The frog overrode intuition about being stung/exploited when presented with a lie
3 - Scorpions are willing to do anything, even self-destruct, in order to act upon destructive urges
4 - Both the frog and the scorpion were acting according to their natures'

It's interesting that the frog asks 'why' the scorpion stung, instead of 'why' did I believe the lie.  This kind of thinking keeps the focus/power/responsibility upon the other party, rather than owning the choice to comply and accept the consequences. 

I'm wondering if this is one of Aesop's fables.

That is SUCH a good analysis of the story, especially the frog asking the wrong question. Spot on !
It gets better. It has to.

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D.

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Re: The Scorpion and the Frog Story
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2020, 06:06:27 PM »
Wonderful story!  Thanks.  I love stories that make us smile and feel good in the midst of a tragic reality.  Great example of acceptance and validating protecting ourselves.

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guitarman

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Re: The Scorpion and the Frog Story
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2020, 05:56:58 AM »
A more appropriate response from the frog?

"Scorpion I don't trust you. I trust my gut. You are carrying a deadly weapon and going from past experiences and my knowledge about you you will use it against me, killing both of us. You can't help yourself. You are dangerous. You always hurt those around you who try to help you. I don't believe a word you say. You always lie. You'll never change. Get some other poor sucker to help you from now on. I'm not going to be that person. I want to live. I'm putting my life first. Goodbye."

I've been the frog for far too long. I've been hurt and wounded. My physical and mental health have suffered so much. I've learnt not to do idiot compassion any more. It's OK to calmly put your own wants and needs first. It really is. It's OK to protect yourself from any more harm and abuse. It's OK not to die trying to help someone else. You don't have to set yourself on fire in order to help keep someone else warm.

If you were the frog what would you say to the scorpion?
"Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace." - Dalai Lama

"You don't have to be a part of it, you can become apart from it." - guitarman

"Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can." - Anon

"If it hurts it isn't love." - Kris Godinez, counsellor and author

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D.

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Re: The Scorpion and the Frog Story
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2020, 03:43:20 PM »
Guitarman,

Great response:

I think that I would say "hmmm, you need to get to the other side?  I'm sorry, but I cannot help.  I trust you'll figure out something.  I have my own path I'm taking today."  Then take it, whether that be swimming on my own, hopping away, whatever.  And then never look back.  No space in my brain to think about how/why a scorpion has to cross a river in the first place.  I am enjoying my own swim in the pods and hops through the forest :)

My answer comes from the idea that the less attention and energy I give to the scorpion the better. 

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Free2Bme

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Re: The Scorpion and the Frog Story
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2020, 11:29:04 PM »
 :yeahthat: 



G/M -
"You don't have to set yourself on fire in order to help keep someone else warm."................love this!

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lillylover

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Re: The Scorpion and the Frog Story
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2020, 05:10:12 PM »
THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THIS STORY HERE  ! I AM NEW HERE AT OOTF  BUT THIS STORY - I DON'T KNOW WHERE BUT ABOUT 2 MONTHS AGO I FOUND IT...THE SCORPION AND THE FROG STORY and I saved it to my computer. 

"SUE" - THE PERSON WHO "BROUGHT" ME  TO OOTF IS ACTUALLY A SCORPIO (her sign) AND SHE IS OFTEN TALKING ABOUT BEING A SCORPIO AND REFERRING TO THE SCORPION.  SAYING HOW SO AND SO & SO or SO BETTER NOT MESS WITH HER FOR AFTER ALL SHE IS A SCORPIO

THEN SHE EMPHASIZES THE STING OF THE SCORPION AS IF SHE IS A SCORPION. AND SHE SAYS IT WITH A SMUG SMILE and A DEEP BREATH.  AS IF SHE IS INHALING  POWER.

AND ALL THAT TIME I'D HEAR HER SAY THAT STUFF- I COULDN'T REALLY PROCESS HER WORDS.  BECAUSE IT'S NOT IN MY NATURE TO BE LIKE THAT. 

SO NOW I AM TRYING TO PROCESS HER WORDS ALONG WITH HER PD THAT IS ESCALATING. 

I HAVE TOLD THIS SCORPION AND THE FROG STORY NOW TO MY DH (POOR HIM) ABOUT 5X NOW .....BECAUSE THIS FRIEND "SUE"  IS SO MUCH THE LIAR (TRAITOR) OF THE SCORPION IN THAT STORY.  YET I KEPT TRUSTING HER.  LIKE THE FROG. 

I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE NOW THAT I AM SEEING HER TRUE COLORS JUST HOW MEAN SHE CAN BE. AND HOW "DEADLY" HER STING CAN BE.  IT FEELS AS IF SHE IS SET TO DESROY ME....I AM JUST BESIDE MYSELF.

JUST FOR THE RECORD...I KNOW OTHER SCORPIO'S (the sign).  NONE OF THE OTHER SCORPIO'S (the sign) ARE  MEAN LIKE "SUE" HAS BECOME.  I GUESS ONLY PD ONES WITH SCORPION ATTRIBUTES ARE THE DANGEROUS KIND. 

AGAIN....THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THIS STORY HERE.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2020, 05:17:52 PM by lillylover »