Disconnecting from friends and relieved

Started by Mintstripes, October 23, 2020, 12:23:01 AM

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Mintstripes

#20
A little update:

I was reflecting on the loss of the 2 friendships I mentioned in my original post and I am feeling much freer. The drama and weird “frenemy” dynamic was weighing me down.

I also did not reach out to anyone and only responded succinctly the few times I was contacted (I mentioned the curt messages I’ve received often, so why should I bother writing a whole thing if others don’t?) I didn’t go out of my way, and my phone was very quiet but I was proud for not falling back on old patterns. I did not rush to respond either and took several days, since apparently no one has a problem doing that with me.

I had a great week though. DD and I did a ton of fun Halloween activities. I participated in some fun virtual activities that were held by my university. I interacted with some new people. I had some pleasant exchanges with classmates.

I put the two of us first and felt stronger in my resolve to not accept people’s crumbs or chase them.

Edited a few times to add stuff!

notrightinthehead

Well done!
I also take other people's response time and style as a guideline on how they want to interact with me. If they take days to come back to me, I also give them the space. If they send very brief notes, I restrain myself and am equally brief.
I can't hate my way into loving myself.

Mintstripes

Quote from: notrightinthehead on November 02, 2020, 03:12:59 AM
Well done!
I also take other people's response time and style as a guideline on how they want to interact with me. If they take days to come back to me, I also give them the space. If they send very brief notes, I restrain myself and am equally brief.

Thanks, notright. Admittedly, it's been hard for me. I detest "playing games" and I'm pretty WYSIWYG but I also realized that I needed to adjust my communication style with certain people. I think part of why it's so hard is because I'm starved for human interaction and meaningful conversation.