And so my journey begins...

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reallivefiction

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And so my journey begins...
« on: November 02, 2020, 12:08:48 PM »
Hi everyone!

I was referred to this site/forum from reddit, and I'm so glad that I was! For years, I thought I was the only one struggling with these sorts of issues and that I was the crazy one.

Here's my story in a nutshell:

I'm currently 30 years old. My dad is uNPD (along with possible uPPD) and was physically and emotionally abusive to my mom, brother and I when I was a teen. Dad was arrested twice for domestic assault and wasn't allowed in proximity to our home. It all became too much for mom, who was already genetically predisposed to alcoholism, so she took to drink hard and ended passing away from severe liver issues in 2015. I was the "hero" in that situation, swooping in to take her to the hospital because she refused to take care of herself properly. I also stood in as the parent to my brother during that time. Mom's health got really bad and watching her suffer was traumatizing. My brother was just diagnosed this year as being on the autism spectrum this year at 27 years old, which explains a lot about his developmental disabilities that we all could see but nobody did anything about. He was homeless for a good 6 years, but now is living with my dad out of necessity. Mom's parents are now very ill (Parkinson's and Alzheimers), and with both my mom and only maternal aunt dead, everything falls to me as it usually does.  :sadno: But I just started my real career this year and struggle with anxiety, depression and probably PTSD. I was called upon as Power of Attorney for my grandpa in hospital (despite me begging my grandparents not to name me) but turned it down and decided to distance myself from my grandparents and focus on myself.

I recently signed up for therapy and my first session is this week. So here's to properly starting my healing journey and creating a fulfilling life for myself.  :yahoo:


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Starboard Song

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Re: And so my journey begins...
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2020, 04:04:52 PM »
Quote
For years, I thought I was the only one struggling with these sorts of issues and that I was the crazy one.

You are not alone.

People have been there before. Many are fighting it with you now. And sadly, this won't end in the world any time soon. I am glad you found us. We have other members in survivor mode, who also are scarred and sometimes struggle. As you find your place on the topical boards, look for the tactics people use to reframe their current experience, and how they move forward to the new world without a PD in their life.

The top line of my signature is populated by self-care books that my wife and I found most helpful for us. I commend them to you.
Radical Acceptance, by Brach   |   Self-Compassion, by Neff    |   Mindfulness, by Williams   |   The Book of Joy, by the Dalai Lama and Tutu
Healing From Family Rifts, by Sichel   |  Stop Walking on Egshells, by Mason    |    Emotional Blackmail, by Susan Forward