Sewer gas and the great reset.

[1footouttadefog]

I am ready for a great reset.  My spouse will he moving out into a rental home of ours.  In the meantime there is a sewer gas issue. 

As soon as it is resolved he can try living in the rental.  Its ironic but the symbolism is humourus to me.  My home is unbearable because his mental illness has made itself like sewer gas, unbearable.  I have to clear up the air somewhere else so I breath freely at home myself.

[ChillNow]

Wishing you a speedy resolution!  I remember how my kids and I would enjoy each other's company when my ex traveled for work, which he did a lot.  However, when he was home, there was increasingly a 'lack of peace' - my son's words.  My daughter's words were about the 'cognitive dissonance' of dad claiming to be a Christian but not behaving as one in the home.

Mental illness is, of course, awful for the sufferer, but so much depends on their humility to seek effective treatment and stick with it.  I have two friends who have a bi-polar spouse but each spouse takes responsibility for their continued treatment.  I think most personality disorders are harder because they aren't really chemical; they are much more insidious and trauma-based.

Yes, it is symbolic about clearing the air in your home! 

[Frankie14]

Oh the irony...

I am glad your H will be out of there soon, it's been a long time coming for you all, I wish you peace!

[1footouttadefog]

So the plumbing odor issue is over. 

Not there will be a shuffle to get stuff arranged by the first of the year.

My spouse is considered disabled due to psychciatric diagnoses and shows some mental decline that is not yet being called dementia.  For this reason I will not legally divorse because he cannot do all the adulting.

But for the time being I will treat him as a teen living in his own space.  In time this will change but I am hoping things will be okay in this phase until the kids are up and out.

I hope that leading up to each phase it will be clear what must be done next.

I have been playing parent to this man without the benifits one expects in a marriage for almost two decades.  So I will treat his as a child and look after him.  This is the role he put us in, not me.

I feel relieved that I wo t be pretending I  in marriage, ajd also that I will not be "forced" to lie or withhold informatiin and feelings because of the confrontatiinal positions his mental illness puts us in.   Mentally ill people dont play fair and change the rules alot so Its hard to deal with integrity at times because its like war games.

Often this is simple stuff like  telling him maybe we are out of ice cream when he is scrambling for some in the basement freezer at 2:00 and you know there is some in your college students bedroom mini fridge.  I would in these cases still feel a bit guilty for lying to keep my daughters room from being entered and her things being rummaged. 

Enough, looking forward to some more peaceful days ahead.