Hillbilly Elegy

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Free2Bme

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Hillbilly Elegy
« on: December 12, 2020, 03:06:36 AM »
Just curious if anyone has watched Ron Howard's "Hillbilly Elegy" (NetFlix) ?

I watched it this evening, it had some intense and difficult parts; DV, drug abuse, FOO dysfunction, etc.  A character struggles with drug addiction and very possibly a co-morbid PD of some sort. 

It is based on a true story, and may be triggering for some folks. 

Although I didn't grow up exactly this way, I found the family dynamics interesting, although sad.

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Call Me Cordelia

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Re: Hillbilly Elegy
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2020, 11:18:28 AM »
I don’t know the movie version, but the non-fiction book by J.D. Vance was a worthwhile read!

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SeaBreeze

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Re: Hillbilly Elegy
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2020, 12:51:49 PM »
I liked the book as well. I related to the author's journey of moving up the class ladder while overcoming generational effects of poverty, addiction, and yes, PD. I didn't know there's a movie now! I love actress Amy Adams so need to check it out.

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GettingOOTF

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Re: Hillbilly Elegy
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2020, 01:02:05 PM »
Thank you. This looks good. I really relate to moving up the glass ladder while dealing with generational effects of addition, PD, abuse and, while not poverty as we typically think of it, but insecurity around food, possessions, income etc.

I really related to The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls if this kind of work speaks to you.

People who didn’t grow up like I did have no idea how hard it is to break out of this cycle. You don’t even realize that there is a cycle to break out of, it’s simply your life.

When I started work I was shocked at the different kinds of jobs available. Entire industries and roles that I had no idea existed, let alone were an option.

Growing up I’d obviously see others had more or nicer things but those were simply things for others. It never occurred to me that I could have them too. It’s really hard to explain and this is why it is so hard to get out of it and then once you’re out it’s even harder to stay out. We gravitate to what we knew as children. This is why so many of us end up in multiple PD/addictive/abusive relationships. It’s a million conscious decisions every single day to stay out and keep moving forward.

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Free2Bme

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Re: Hillbilly Elegy
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2020, 12:16:29 AM »
I didn't know it was based on a book. 

I would order it but I know better, my nightstand is already piled high.

I seem to buy books at a different rate than I read them, probably because I've been back at school for several years.  Now that I graduated, hopefully more time to read, yay!   ;)

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Hepatica

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Re: Hillbilly Elegy
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2020, 02:06:38 PM »
I read the book and it gave me quite a bit to think about. I'm glad that's there is more and more curiosity and depth around generational trauma. Having half of my family come from Northern Ireland, i am pretty convinced that my mother raised us having no idea she suffered from trauma. How would she know? There was no mainstream information and it's only really talked about now. But she was not only born into a very "troubled" Northern Ireland tinderbox, she was born on the eve of WWII. Right after she was born, the Germans began to bomb Belfast, so I can only imagine how scared my Nana was, having a new baby and having to run to the bomb shelters. My mother suffers from extreme anxiety and shame. That's why I can forgive her because she comes for a line of trauma and she's had no one help her heal from it.

I think a lot about Irish folks and trauma because I'm half Irish. I think about when they fled due to the famine and arrive in North American and were shunned because no one could understand their trauma - not just the famine but the colonization and lengthy denigration by England. It has to affect the self-esteem. I mean when you arrive and see notices in windows that say NO IRISH. It doesn't surprise me that so many Irish fled to the mountains in the US and went self-sufficient. When you're picked on, it's really hard to not feel "less than" after awhile. And so I totally get it when it comes Black Americans and all other minorities. It takes a long time to put that shame on the people who intentionally hurt you.

It is what we're finally doing here. Removing the shame from ourselves and placing it where it belongs, while - for me anyway - forgiving my parents for not being healed by the time they had me. It's a chain that I hope improves with me and my child inherits a more healthy life because I've finally woken up, that this insecurity I feel is not anything to feel shame about. It was real at some point in my history and needs a lot of self-compassion to heal.

Sorry. That was a big release writing that. I hope you get what I'm trying to say.
“There is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's
still a sureness in you, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where
there is a confidence and tranquility." John O'Donohue