I need this .There, I finally said it.

[Bewitched]

I used to be the Golden Child. Until I stood up to my SIL (manipulation, gaslighting, controlling, deception). That was a "mistake" because it exposed the fact that we are in NOT one big happy family. Since then, I have come to understand that my own father is the original narc. Because I won't comply and keep his perfect family image, I've been on the receiving end of his bullying and rage. The denial, triangulation, and gaslighting are maddening. I've fallen from good graces because I'm the whistle blower. Now, I'm the scapegoat. I've just found the words...the framework that helps me make sense of it all. For the first time, I'm low/no contact. Not participating in holiday traditions. On one hand feeling more safe/secure. On the other, feeling heaviness of grief that weighs on my heart, threatening to spill out into tears at any moment. Finally, I've made it here. Getting the support I need. There, I said it.

[SunnyMeadow]

It's such a relief to find this place. This is where we come and finally see it's them and not us!

Welcome to the forums, I'm sorry you have to be here. The people here are the most understanding and helpful people I've ever found online.

[treatedasworthless]

Bewitched,

Welcome!

Good for you! You have so much courage to stand up to your manipulating SIL. I can understand and relate to you 100% I know what it feels like to be the scapegoat. I wish you continued strength, resilience, and inner peace to get through! You deserve so much better.

[Sapling]

I used to be the Golden Child. Until I stood up to my SIL (manipulation, gaslighting, controlling, deception). That was a "mistake" because it exposed the fact that we are in NOT one big happy family. Since then, I have come to understand that my own father is the original narc. Because I won't comply and keep his perfect family image, I've been on the receiving end of his bullying and rage. The denial, triangulation, and gaslighting are maddening. I've fallen from good graces because I'm the whistle blower. Now, I'm the scapegoat. I've just found the words...the framework that helps me make sense of it all. For the first time, I'm low/no contact. Not participating in holiday traditions. On one hand feeling more safe/secure. On the other, feeling heaviness of grief that weighs on my heart, threatening to spill out into tears at any moment. Finally, I've made it here. Getting the support I need. There, I said it.

Welcome Bewitched. I can so relate to your story. This was me just over 10 years ago and I too was the GC who fell from grace by telling the truth. Reading your words, I remembered that first Christmas without my family and how harrowing it was... So I know you have done something incredibly brave for yourself! Well done And you can get through this and come out on the other side with more of yourself in tact. You  can now move from being in survival mode to growing into your awesome authentic self. The grief is hard and its real. Sending you a hug at this difficult time
Look forward to hearing more from you out there on the boards. You will find wonderful, supportive people on here who are traveling similar paths. You are not alone.