'What are your sex fantasies?' Asked NPD mom

[Writingthepain]

My npd mom when I was 15 watched a movie with me where the main character had sex fantasies. Afterwards she asked me: 'what kind of thing do you fantaise about?'
Of course I was very uncomfortable at this so I denied any fantasies or sexual thoughts at all. Which made her mad and she started insisting that I must have sex fantasies or else there was something wrong with me.

This isn't normal right??

[Amadahy]

My Nmom was sexually inappropriate in many ways.  She consistently walked around the house naked and really wanted to talk about her sex life with my dad (and others). I'd leave the room, always. When I went through puberty, she always reverted to calling me a "slut" or "whore" when she raged because it seemed like sexual references were her default.  When she was widowed, she got into a freaky relationship with an older man (and his sons?)  and wanted to tell me about that, but I plainly told her I wasn't interested. Couple all this with being reared in a cultish ultra repressive religion and you've got a recipe for real confusion and disconnect.  It's creepy to experience violations like this!  No, this is not normal and I'm sorry it happened. 

[SunnyMeadow]

First of all  to her question and at age 15!? Nope, not normal. I wouldn't ask that question to my children at any age. I'm sorry Writingthepain.

[Boat Babe]

That is sooooo NOT normal. I'm really sorry she said that to you. That is boundary breaking of the highest order. Borderline sexual abuses. And she would have probably weaponised it if you had said something. Dear God!

[Sneezy]

Completely 100% NOT normal.  Similar to Amadahy's experience, my HMIL once "accidentally" walked out of the bathroom in just her underwear in front of her granddaughter's new college boyfriend.  She was obsessed with sexual topics and talking/gossiping about other people's sex lives.  She shared way too much personal info with DH when he was a kid.  It's really top-tier boundary busting behavior that is sooooooo wrong.  This behavior has abated a bit since she's gotten older, but I doubt it will ever stop completely.  I wish I had some good advice to give you, but all I can say is don't engage.  And never, ever, under any circumstances share personal or private information with her.  Just remind yourself that whatever you tell her could end up on the evening news, so don't share anything unless you want it known by everyone.

[Writingthepain]

Thanks guys, since then she has regularly told me intimate sex details about her and my father, her and her boyfriends. Even reading out sexting messages she has sent. Regardless of how much I say I don't want to hear.

[Sneezy]

Writingthepain - Are you in a safe situation?  Do you live with your mother?  Are her boyfriends regularly coming and going?  I don't want to pry too much into your personal situation, but please keep yourself safe.  This sounds like a situation that could deteriorate and you may need to have a plan to get out and get safe if it does.  Take care!

[Boat Babe]

 

[Writingthepain]

Thanks but fortunately mom became incapable of having a relationship with anyone years ago. Every man she fancies these days quickly realises that she's a mental case and steers clear. Her looks are gone too, the frown lines on her face show her real self too now.