spoke frankly with DD

[losingmyself]

I know I should probably put this under the parenting place, but I feel more comfortable here, and I've spoken about this issue with you here before.
The advice I got when I asked how I should respond to my DD's glowing story of me, that I absolutely don't deserve, was to speak to her truthfully about how that made me feel and why.
I'm kind of slow, and it takes me time to work up the courage, but the other day we had a frank talk about her depression, she actually was thinking that she had BPD. I said no way, and went into great detail about why she doesn't have it, mainly the fact that she's concerned that she does excludes her from this. I do believe that she needs therapy. She asked me how I know so much about this, and I said because I think that H has it. And how that's not an excuse, and it doesn't mean that I'm exempt from not taking them away from him.
Anyway, I let her know that I feel that I didn't protect her, and I could have done much much more. It was hard. We talked about things that are truly triggering to me, like her time in the hospital, and I told her how very sorry I will always be.
I don't know... she just kept saying that it wasn't my fault, and that it was ok.
But I feel like we've maybe opened up a line of communication that I hope we can keep visiting.
Thank you all for giving me the advice to speak with her about this.
I love her so much..
Maybe she'll think about it and get angry with me, that's ok too. I think we'll get past it

[Poison Ivy]

Based only on this post (i.e., not knowing much about the rest of your story), I'll say the following: I think it often (usually?) is appropriate to talk to our children about their mental health, our (the parent's) mental health, and family history of mental health issues. How much to say depends on the child's age. I have two adult children; they're now in their late 20s. They both had some mental health issues when in their early teens, and I didn't hesitate to seek appropriate treatment for them. Over time, I've told them about my own mental health struggles and those of other family members (their father, my mom, their paternal grandfather). I trust them to be discreet, and I think they deserve to know an amount of information about mental health issues in the family just as they deserve to know about physical health issues.

[notrightinthehead]

So glad you took the leap! And it sounds like a good outcome.  I have found that when I am open, authentic,  honest I feel so much better with myself.