Constant toxic social media posts

[IWasNeverReallyHere]

I'm not sure how to explain this or describe this person. I haven't met him in person. I have met him via Zoom teleconferencing as he regularly joins in online events and support meetings through a community organisation I work for and am also a member.

I also have a friend who knows him quite well. He friended me on Facebook some months ago and ever since, I have been shocked, saddened and cringed at what I've seen of his activity on social media.

His behaviours are extremely emotional, high drama, attention seeking, pining for sympathy and this is merely what I've seen online. He's an adult at 35. He is clearly overly attached to his mother and lives with her. It is as if he couldn't bear to be apart from her.

I instinctively thought DPD and that may be the case, but these other behaviours seem to indicate another PD as well. It's as if he has no concept of the fact that he is an adult and capable, but living independently of his mother and stepfather is simply inconceivable to him.

He is constantly making Facebook posts. They are relentless. There would at least be one every hour of the day and some at night-time also. I've had to unfollow him, but the nature of the posts is so much so that his objective with all these posts seems to be trying his hardest to lure people into noticing the posts who don't want to see them to the point where it's a bombardment.

He also mentions/tags people in the comments of his posts to get their attention when they don't see his posts in their feed and that is not fair.

I realise it is his social media platform and he can post whatever it is he wants to as frequently as he wants to. Nobody should be able to take that away from him or anybody. People need an outlet to express themselves, sure, I'm all for that.

This seems to be taking it to the extreme where it is not only unhealthy for him, but it also becomes unhealthy for others as well. To the point where it is toxic. It's clear he pays more attention to how he feels, rather than what is factual and true.

We had an AGM recently via Zoom. He joined in that, which he was entitled to do, but he posted all these comments in the chat that were not relevant. It was again looking for sympathy for his plight it seemed. It was the first time I really cringed at the comments.

Of course, I feel sorry for him. But I also realise I have to be careful with how I may respond to what he wants to say, because if I do give him advice or sympathy or even encouragement or affirmations, I could just be feeding him and he may use that to elicit more from me when in the long run, it doesn't help him or me.

He is toxic and completely depressing and not healthy for me to keep reading his posts, yet at the same time there is an addictive element to them, where I find it hard to turn myself away from them.

[bloomie]

IWasNeverReallyHere - it seems this person's behaviors are really triggering you. That you unfollowed him and won't see his plentious posts is really good self care.

It sounds like his involvement in the community group is unavoidable for you at this point. It can really be a kind of mesmerizing, and yet appalling, public spectacle with someone like this at times, and very hard to look away and not be lured in. I so get these attention seeking and drama bound behaviors being so uncomfortable and frustrating all at the same time.

Do you have to respond to his comments on the Zoom meetings and if so, can you treat it like a collegue or professional interaction and use tools you would use with any difficult person on the job?

[Fiasco]

I have recently found myself drawn to constantly checking on toxic people's posts, even after unfollowing them. I finally took the right step for myself and unfriended. Good news is December is the perfect month to unfriend everyone who adds no value to your social media! If questioned you may say something about cutting down social media as a New Year's Resolution.

[Starboard Song]

 

[clara]

Attention getting behaviors are just that--behaviors designed to get attention.  Don't give it to him.  See above. 

[ShyTurtle]

My housemate has bpd and posts 5 times per day most days. It's all looking for attention and sympathy. For the longest time I used it as a weather report to get the latest intel into what her mood might be. But I've now come to realize that I don't need to see it. I've blocked her.

I think there are different levels of blocking you can use to eliminate the other person from view without getting a rise out of them. Although, just blocking someone does the job. If they try to search for you, they can't. Although, my updex seems to have comments appear on groups now and then, I don't see any of his posts.