New member, introduction

[little_ocelot]

 I am the youngest of four, grew up bullied by my family. My mother's reactions were always a bit off. My parents were "pilliars of the community" and perceived as super generous people. I always felt that they put others before their children and everything was about THEIR image. When I got pregnant, my mother's reaction to my pregnancy was even stranger, I mean, as compared to my pregnant friends' mothers. She dismissed everything I felt, she derailed my conversations about my pregnancy, it was almost as if she was jealous. There was a moment when I thought  "she doesn't love me, she has never loved me", a hearbreaking realization, but I needed to move on quickly, to be ready for my child. She was making me so anxious that I went to therapy and ther the term "narcissist" came out. I stupidly thought that realizing what she was would make things easier for me. It was the opposite, it was as if she knew I was on to her, and she didn't even try to pretend to love me anymore, just pure hatred and hostility.

My mother died but the nightmare was not over. I was blindsided by something else, I have one sister who is her absolute clone. I didn't realize it because she lived her life away from us, but as she grew older, expected to suddenly become "part of the family". She is one of these people who resent what others have (even if they have worked hard) and feels life is unfair. I am having serious problems with her despite having almost zero contact. She is obsessed with destroying my life, and I am not making this up. I will try to make a post in the appropriate section of the forum to seek some advice, or at least vent.

In the meantime, I thank everyone for accepting me in this forum.

[Penny Lane]

Hi and welcome! I'm glad you're here but sorry you're dealing with this.

I think you'll find that you are not alone, that there are lots of people with similar stories to yours, who can commiserate and maybe share advice about how to make it easier. If you haven't, I'd also peruse the toolbox at the top of the page - there are some really simple tips that I've found to be life changing!

Again, welcome, and I look forward to hearing more from you on the boards.

[little_ocelot]

Thank you

[My New Life]

Hello,
I am new to the group too:)  I am sorry you have had to endure this.  I went to counseling on and off for 30 years and no one mentioned narcissism until a couple of years ago. I know it does not remove the pain but it does explain a lot.
I look forward to checking out the toolbox for additional resources and hope you find some comfort there as well.

[AlisonWonder]

Hi, also new here, your story sounds very like mine.  Sometimes I wonder how to describe my mother to new people I meet, and I think the word "competitive" is the most useful one, because it stops their  "oh all mothers love their children" attitude right away.
Loving mothers may at times be aggressive, but they are not continually competitive.
I look forward to reading what you post next, wishing us all well.