How did you react?

[Mary]

Question-
When you keep track of things said in an email or text, is that for your own sanity, or do use it to actually confront the lie?

[blunk]

I most definitely can't speak for everyone, Mary, but here's my reasoning.

In my case I kept texts where he made threats, in case it ever did come down to legal action or needing/wanting to prove that he was lying. My bpdxh would say things like, I'm going to tell all of your dirty little secrets to your family and friends. Not exactly sure to what he was referring. He also threatened to burn down the house with me and my dogs inside. He made self-harm statements and then denied it when I tried to get him to contact the suicide hotline. I ended up calling and showed the texts to the doctor before he was admitted.

I'm sure that others have their own reasons as well. For the most part, from what I have seen written, it is about self-protection.

[SparkStillLit]

I get gaslit, so I write things down so I can't have reality overwritten.
In the past, the gaslighting has been so bad as to...well, I went bad places and I didn't know what to believe. I nearly lost my entire self. Now I remember things and I KNOW what was real, even back then. Still some things are un-burying themselves and I'm saying "wait a minute!!!! What he said to me doesn't even match a proper timeline...BULLSHIT!!!!!" And poof goes another gaslight!
So now I write stuff, both to remember to share in T so I don't carry it myself, and also to keep a written record for myself so that can NEVER happen to me again. Even though I am fairly gaslight proof now. You never know.

[Cat of the Canals]

I also keep a record of interactions with unPDmom and unPDmil. It's been very helpful for the times I start thinking, "Have I been unfair? Am I being too harsh?" Just a quick browse through the history of incidents keeps me from wandering too far back into the FOG.

I wouldn't use it to confront because there's no point. They'd only deny it.

[square]

In my experience, records are for you and maybe for third parties, but not for the PD.

They have tactics for everything. In the face of reality they can still twist it.

If nothing else, they will deflect by telling you how crazy you are for keeping records.

They are committed to their realities, and aren't going to break just because you have video evidence. Lol.

[SparkStillLit]

I have gotten so furious in the face of blatant gaslighting, and threatened to record every conversation henceforth.
Doesn't matter, of course. It's not like I'll remember to do it, or like any reasonable person would, and the PD will continue to deny right in the face of evidence, as you say.

[CelestialLight]

Have any of you had your pd or upd tell you that you have a pd, or that you're mentally ill?

If so, how did you respond?

Personally, I laughed.  He had been building up to it for a while.

I didn't find it so funny though when he told our ds (maybe 10 at the time) that I was mentally ill.

AOD

I looked him dead in the eye and said no shit. Would you like to see my disability card, that I have, because of my agoraphobia, that you suggested I go for?

It, uh, didn't go down well, but my friends had a laugh later when I told them.