Snowed in with mom

[Sneezy]

Ok, nothing can be done about this, I just have to tough it out.  But I need to vent!  We are in the middle of a winter/snow/ice crisis.  Luckily, we have electricity and heat, although no water.  Mom's senior living (ISL) lost power and a dear friend with four-wheel drive took us through the snow to "rescue" her and get her to our house.  I mean, there was no other option other than leaving her to freeze in her apartment.

And now she is here.  And sighing, and sniffling, and acting very weepy.  And she doesn't want to go back to her apartment, even though her facility now has both heat and water and we are still without water (which means melting snow to flush the toilets, so every extra person in the house is causing more work).  And she keeps wanting me to look at her latest rash (I'm not a doctor) and she called a relative who was mean to her and she can't get warm but it's too hot in the guest room and she really neeeeeds to wash her hair and on and on and on.  I want to shake her and tell her to buck up, Buttercup, and act like an adult.  Yes, this is serious.  And it may get worse before it gets better (can't wait till we get above freezing and find out if our pipes froze or not).  But if we all act like mature adults, we will be fine.  But noooooooo, there may be mold growing in her apartment as we speak.  And did I mention that she called a relative who was mean to her on the phone!!!  Ugh!

I feel like I have a toddler in the house.  I literally just started looking for Disney movies to play to keep her occupied.  Because of course she didn't bring a book, magazine, or anything else to keep herself occupied while she's here.   

[Andeza]

Wait, Sneezy, did you say that the facility IS operational again? If so, can you just pack her whining butt up and take her back?

[Sneezy]

Wait, Sneezy, did you say that the facility IS operational again? If so, can you just pack her whining butt up and take her back?

Well, yes and no.  They do have heat and water, for now, but no guarantee as we are still dealing with rolling blackouts and water supply is spotty.  Also, the roads are bad today.  I think it's safest to keep her here until we are consistently above freezing and the electric/heat/water situation has become more certain.  I'm hoping to take her back to senior living by Saturday, maybe Sunday.  If I don't throw her out into a snowbank before then 

I should have told her to bring books, magazines, puzzles, etc. - didn't even think of it.  I guess I assumed an adult would know that it was going to be kind of boring to wait out a winter storm and she needed to be prepared.

On the bright side, we are having to make do with whatever I can find for meals that doesn't involve using too much bottled water or making too much of a mess. Maybe after eating my storm-cooking for a few days she won't complain about the food at her ISL so much (not holding my breath on that, though).

[Andeza]

Lol, yeah, feed her beans and hotdogs for a few days and she'll be ready to run back in the snow herself! Hang in there, then.

[Hepatica]

Sneezy, I can not offer any advice, but if you need to vent here, whenever you think you're going to throw her in the snowbank, get on here and let it out. We will talk you down.
What dummies, the dysfunctional parents can be. After all those years of  age you'd think there would be some wisdom gained and they'd consider packing something to keep their brains occupied. My uNPD mother would be exactly the same. 

[Sneezy]

whenever you think you're going to throw her in the snowbank, get on here and let it out. We will talk you down.

Thank you, I so appreciate this forum at times like these.

We have electricity, so can watch TV (also have Netflix).  So I asked mom if she had any shows she liked to watch or if there was a movie she'd be interested in.  She very self-righteously proclaimed "I don't watch TV."  Well, ok....... in normal times, that may be some kind of virtue.  I don't know.  But in the middle of a winter storm in the middle of a pandemic, maybe the ability to binge-watch something mind-numbing would be a good thing. 

[Fiasco]

Mine "doesn't watch tv" either. Too bad, maybe they would have learned some darn social skills! Hang in there.

[Sneezy]

One more freeze predicted for tonight and then she goes back home tomorrow.  Wow, mom is bored.  Really, really bored.  And slightly annoyed that life at her senior complex is getting back to normal, people are meeting up and socializing, activities are starting up again, all without her.  Even my cooking is boring her ("Sneezy, will you be going to the store soon?" "When do you think you'll get out to the grocery store?" "Have you heard when the stores will be getting shipments?").  All this boredom is very good for her.  Maybe, just maybe, she will appreciate what she has when life gets back to normal.  Probably not, because she is definitely one of those people who think the grass is always greener somewhere else.  But I can hope 

[SunnyMeadow]

What great news that life in the senior center is going on without her. She needs to get back there pronto before she misses something BIG. 

Whatcha making for dinner tonight? Something boring, I hope!

[Sneezy]

Whatcha making for dinner tonight? Something boring, I hope!

I think we're down to canned beans and chicken nuggets with a side of toast     It's slim pickings in my pantry and fridge right about now. 

[SunnyMeadow]

Is she back at her senior complex? 

[Sneezy]

Is she back at her senior complex?

Yes, she is.  She couldn't wait to get back, as it is so boring at my house.  And now she is already complaining about the food and telling me that she simply *has* to get out and go somewhere (meaning she wants me to come and take her out and entertain her) because she is so bored and cooped up.  It's just one complaint after another, non-stop.

One interesting thing - earlier last week, mom told me that when we picked her up and brought her here, she offered up any extra food and drinks in her fridge to her friends who were still in their apartments (power was out, so not a bad idea to let people eat up what they wanted).  Then, when she got back to her apartment, she was upset and told me that her friends had "stolen" all her water and soda.  So she somehow managed to be a martyr by giving away her stuff and a victim all at the same time.  I fell for it of course and delivered some bottled water to her, only to discover that her facility has plenty of filtered water, and several community groups have been by to drop off bottled water for the old folks.   

Thanks for listening to my rants and random musings about mom.  She is in my head too much.  But I'm absolutely fascinated by how her brain works.  Sometimes I just can't look away, I have to try to figure her out. 

[SunnyMeadow]

All that sounds so typical! She just got home and now she has to get out and go somewhere??    Well at least the friends stealing her water and soda will give her something to stew about for awhile. My mother is in my head too much also.

They are certainly complex people. 

[p123]

Sneezy - glad you got rid......

Best idea. We had MIL here for 4 nights a week every week then she went into hospital. Came out and pretty much wanted to live with us 90% of the time. Didn't ask us.
She tried every trick in the book to get what she wanted. In the end, wifes brother (god bless him) laid it on the line to her about how she was behaving......

It worked. Shes here 1-2 night every fortnight now which is manageable....

[Sneezy]

She's baaaaaaaack!!!  Ha, I completely forgot that mom had a minor medical procedure this morning and I had agreed to pick her up and keep her here for a day and a night.  She is such a fall risk that she really does need some looking after, but tomorrow she goes back to her place (hopefully for good this time).

When I picked her up, it turns out that mom's health is not quite as rosy as she has been portraying it.  The doctor actually asked me to come to her follow up appointment because he's not sure she's been telling me the whole story.  Gee, what a surprise, I'm shocked