[Seeking Advice] New job is stressful

[BefuddledClarity]

Hey there...

This new job has me stressed out.
I normally work in tech, but due to previous job being toxic, I left(see Feeling Overwhelmed by Work).

So with this current one...the people here aren't as outward as my past job, this one is every man for themselves.

I'm still fairly new and have absolutely NO experience in the finance field nor is it remotely interesting to me like the tech field is(my last job was tech and extremely easy, but terrible pay...). I tried to absorb as much as I can and usually can pick things up easily, but there are a few things that are troubling.

At this current one, I am constantly being told to "Go use the reference guide, I'm busy doing reports and other things." by management along with "It's not that complicated".

It feels insulting because I DO use the reference guide first before asking and even google the answers, but some things obviously can't be googled because it's weird abbreviations that this job made and I have to decipher or I have NO ability to check certain documents, only the management team can. Furthermore, if it's not in the reference guide, then how the hell would I be able to figure it out?


Not to mention when a customer requests a document, I don't have the ability to email them like leadership does. So I have to hound someone down for help to send to customer then most times they just ignore me.

Only ONE person is willing to help me, but he's busy helping many others which makes me feel bad...but he's nice about it. He's not even close to being leadership/Management. He has a floating position pretty much because they didn't want to lose him, so he's pretty much a mentor.

This job is good pay and all, however, a terrible work environment. I even read the reviews afterwards to make sure I'm not going crazy...It had only 2/5 stars...

Then when I asked about switching departments to do emails only instead of back to back phone calls by asking the email team, they directed me to HR, then HR gave me a link and told me to go back and talk to email team and my supervisor...they keep giving me the run around to talk to somebody else and don't give straight answers.

There was another incident too when I tried to do a bilingual test to get paid more but.. It was a verbal test and they asked me to "elaborate" even more each time. For example, they said "What's your job position?" I say I do XYZ and answer questions about ABC then they asked me to elaborate when there's...really not much to say(plus I'm new to the job so wouldn't know how to describe it). They also asked about what I dreamed about and to tell them about my family?? I just...I gave up on the test after awhile, didn't want to talk about those things and told them I would like to stop the test. After that I got scolded by two other people. One of them was telling me it "costs" to do the test(didn't know, it was free at previous job, all we had to do was talk to our boss in that language and he'd either pass or fail us) then she deemed me as "not fluent". Then the other guy, who's upper management came to me to report back what the bilingual test arranger said and asked me if I wanted to say anything about it, I said no. Was a bit irritable since this guy in management knows I speak the language because I only spoke to him in that language---it's more comfortable for me...but now he doesn't speak to me in that language anymore.

I've honestly been doing the minimum that's required for the job and gave up completely now. It's also frustrating since I have a baby/toddler at home that requires attention. Then my home life is messy, so everything is building up.

Anyways, do you guys have advice to impart in regards to this job issue?

I'm currently looking for another job. Can't quit this one yet, just got a new place. Going to (temporarily) be living separately from partner. We're working through our relationship...

[Penny Lane]

I'm not sure the ins and outs of this job, but it definitely doesn't sound like a good fit for you! I hope your job search goes quickly and you can get out soon.

[pianissimo]

Your situation seems very stressful. People at work sound awful. To me, it seems like there is not much you can do in this situation. You could focus on your part of the job. If what you do seems right to you, then it's the right thing to do. It doesn't matter what others say. You may make a mistake, but, then, it's a mistake. They probably make plenty and worse kind of mistakes. You sound competent at your job, so you are probably good at what you do. So, relying on your judgement might reduce stress at your end.  I can't think of anything else that would help.

[GettingOOTF]

It sounds like a stressful environment. When an environment is stressful it's usually stressful for everyone there so people have less capacity to be there for others.

It sounds like this is not a good fit for you and you are doing the right thing by looking elsewhere. I have learned over the years that you cannot change a workplace. The dynamics are simply what they are. The best course of action for me has been to find a workplace that matches with my personality and needs. Different industries attract different kinds of people, from the top down. It sounds like Finance isn't for you you.

[GettingOOTF]

I also wanted to add that I have a story I tell when people ask me personal questions about my life that I feel I have to answer, for example in the testing situation you describe.  Most of the time people aren't actually asking about your dreams and family, they simply think that these are universal subjects that everyone is comfortable talking about. I'm not from where I live so I talk about growing up where I did, how many siblings I have, where they live etc.  In reality I share very little about my personal life but have learned to talk about it in ways that seem like I am sharing.

I practiced saying all of this out loud so  that it sounds natural.

A big thing for me was realizing that others have their stuff going on too. Other people's reactions are almost never about you and almost always about them. I'm not trying to imply that you don't have valid questions at work, but most people simply can't be bothered taking time from their work to help others. I'm not sure how you ask but it may be helpful to say "I looked in the manual but xyz abbreviation isn't in there, can you help me or let me know where else to look". I work in a very deadline driven environment so I see both sides of your post.

I had two back to back incredibly stressful jobs in really awful environments. When I got my last job I told myself that I wouldn't let the small stuff get to me as all workplaces had their issues and I'd been places with awful issues. I told myself that work was work and that if I ever found myself feeling stressed about something someone did or found myself complaining about work outside of work that I'd quit and go somewhere else. I keep the two totally separate. Most people don't even know what I do as I simply never discuss work as I am able to put things that happen there in perspective and I leave it all at the door when I leave in the evening.  I think it's rare that anyone has the perfect work environment as there are too many variables we can't control. I focus on making sure the stuff I care about is taken care of and I ignore the rest.

[BefuddledClarity]

Just a minor update, I gave up on caring too much and separated work from home. I just do what I need to and don't bother leadership at all. I just do what I believe is best and have been taking my time to give quality calls instead of quantity and learnt more that way.

I got most of it down now, the only things I need help on really is "untangling" a customers account whenever a previous rep or even leadership promised something for customer and didn't deliver. That's pretty much the only time I bother leadership now, since it's something I don't have the capability of doing.


I just go with the flow now and in my own little bubble. Was stressed out before, because I'm watching little one on the side (but not for long, will have someone to watch little one).

It's just really about navigating certain information at this point when customer requests status on XYZ and trying to see if request was fulfilled or not...and seeing what they're missing.

In other words, not stressed anymore, just aloof and going though the motions. Still want to find something a bit more fulfilling like my brothers have found.

[1footouttadefog]

I am self employed. Part of my life imcludes taking care of a mentally ill spouse.

It seems that there are no seoaratiins in my life. Its all a 7/24 bleeding of hours from sleep to waking to sleep to waking.

I am trying to make some shape and form to it all.  There have been alot of days and hours navivating college stuff for kids, legal and finance stuff for spouse, and insirance stuff and repairs etc etc. 

I am trying to subdivide it all so I can once again have days off and time for hobbies etc. 

Even though my workd is dofferent, I caj relate to you needing a divide between work and family.  Home and work divide, and  divide between you as human with needs and feelings and you as human who trades time for money.

I hope you can find enjoyment in your home life even if work is not optimum.