Harming his health with stupid ideas - or should I just let him get on with it?

p123 · June 02, 2021, 09:28:12 AM

Quote from: DaisyGirl77 on June 01, 2021, 12:25:49 PM
Quote from: p123 on May 27, 2021, 10:23:24 AM
I gave him a chance this week. Explained that paracetamol is weak, and he really needs to go back to the GP if hes that bad. He made every excuse under the sun. Even said "I dont want to bother them". Which is rich from someone who, in the past, has been warned off for excessive 999 calls and by his GP practice for making multiple callouts every week for the same thing without listening to advice.

Stop giving him chances. You're just feeding into his black hole of need for attention. He KNOWS paracetamol is useless. He KNOWS he's taking less than the appropriate dosage. HE. DOES. NOT. CARE.

What DOES he care about? Filling in that black hole of need for attention. No more, no less. Start working on your MC. Erect your boundaries. "Mmhmm" him to death while rolling your eye. "Dad, I've gotta go back to work." HANG UP IMMEDIATELY. Don't let him draw you into another half hour of moaning & whinging. That's what he wants AND YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO HIM.

The only person who can stop this cycle is YOU. You can't MAKE your dad stop his cycle. What you CAN do is stop YOURS. Kick your dad's buttons to the curb & replace those buttons with happier ones that you can do with your wife & children.

You're right. Im 75% of the way there....... I do boundaries but still let it upset me.

Todays was a classic. Something about he had to go to the optician for something. Can I take time off work?
Umm, I dont get paid when Im not working. Im not taking time off to drive 25 miles to drive you 300 yards in the car. (its is that close) because A) You won't walk even though you can, B) You refuse to use the scooter I bought you or C) You refuse my offer of paying for a taxi....

But of course, its a test. I'm such a bad son I wont take my Dad when hes struggling..... Always the same with him.
He did the same with Covid injections. Doctor told him no hes mobile so he can come to the surgery (which he didnt like). 500 yards. No Dad get a taxi.... All I had then was "Oh I'll have to miss it I can't get a lift, I'll just have to hope I dont get Covid". Even though I'd offered a taxi as a solution.

In the end, he got his cousin off his "mug list" to do it.

nanotech · June 02, 2021, 01:48:29 PM

Just a thought- there are other types of painkillers, stronger than paracetamol- but which don't cause constipation. Having said that, he would probably find a problem with each one.

And he would love nothing more than watching you get extremely frustrated with him as he scoffingly rejects them one by one.
It's all jolly good supply for his false sense of victimhood.
They don't want a solution to their situation. They just don't want their situation to exist. Their only way to try to regain control is to complain loudly to us to 'fix it'.
After all, everything is always all our fault!
I think the truth is, they don't want to be old with ailments, and have to be reliant on any meds.
It messes with their false image of themselves as superior and powerful.

p123 · June 07, 2021, 02:34:50 PM

Quote from: nanotech on June 02, 2021, 01:48:29 PM
Just a thought- there are other types of painkillers, stronger than paracetamol- but which don't cause constipation. Having said that, he would probably find a problem with each one. And he would love nothing more than watching you get extremely frustrated with him as he scoffingly rejects them one by one.
It's all jolly good supply for his false sense of victimhood.
They don't want a solution to their situation. They just don't want their situation to exist. Their only way to try to regain control is to complain loudly to us to 'fix it'.
After all, everything is always all our fault!
I think the truth is, they don't want to be old with ailments, and have to be reliant on any meds.
It messes with their false image of themselves as superior and powerful.

He'd find fault no doubt..... He said the doc now says "yes just take paracetamol". He got a warning off the senior doc a few years ago because he just kept phoning them for the same thing. I think they've washed their hands of him a bit because he just won't do what they say anyway.

Hes moaning today he feels like hes dying - hayfever. Yeh its not pleasant but he doesnt listen again when I (and doc) tell him hes got to take them for a bit not just the odd day then stop. He mentioned the magic word "breathless" I can see a 999 call coming on...........