Is it really that easy?

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Cat of the Canals

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Is it really that easy?
« on: April 11, 2021, 08:18:55 PM »
uPD mom started up the phone games again. Our last call was a few weeks ago (this was after I requested a break because of my BIL's passing). My dad's birthday was last week, and I did a brief videochat with them and my brother's family while they were all together. Three days later, and mom is back to her passive-aggressive text messages designed to get me to call her. Things like, "Helllllooooo????" and "WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!" She's incapable of dialing my number, I guess.

I started thinking about boundaries again. One I set a while ago was that I no longer respond to subtext. If she wants something, she can ask directly. The last time she did this, I decided to answer all of her questions literally. "Where are you!?" I text back that I am sitting in my living room. She says, "Prove it!" and I simply don't respond, because the subtext is that I have to call her to "prove it," and I'm not playing that game.

That was fun for a hot minute. But the reality is that I find her messages annoying and distracting. She often sends them in the morning when I'm working. And she certainly never takes a hint and realizes that the games don't get her anywhere (because eventually we talk, and I'm sure there's a part of her that thinks all of her little games paid off). She is never going to stop sending these messages.

That was when I had my lightbulb moment: BLOCK THEM. She never has anything to actually say to me via text, other than to make these indirect, passive aggressive demands, so it isn't like I'm going to miss out on something important. So why do I even read them at all?

This was through Google Chat, so I simply hit "archive" and POOF. Her conversation is relegated to the back corner of my inbox somewhere, and the messages are out of sight, out of mind. Now that I've done that, I'm probably going to do the same on Facebook. This is so stupidly simple, I can't believe I didn't think of it before. My lightbulb moments lately have been coming with a big dose of, "DUHHHHH!"  :blush:



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Re: Is it really that easy?
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2021, 08:22:39 PM »
This is a good idea.  :like:

You're right, she doesn't have anything fun or happy to say, just passive aggressive demands. Who wants to read that junk? Your life should be more peaceful now.