Managing my feelings of guilt.

[Fox]

Hello, my name is "Fox" and I'm in my early thirties. They/them/theirs pronouns would be preferred. I'm the offspring of a father who has undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder and mother who has undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. Both of them are in my life. I live with my mother at the moment and see my father about once a month.

I love them both. There's a lot of turmoil in my relationship with my father, so it's an ingrained love that I often struggle with feeling. My mother has done some very real work on herself, and our relationship has greatly improved because of it. I always felt more attached to my mother, as she was the one showing up for most of my life, even when it was an unhealthy showing up.

I'm looking forward to joining this community. I've accessed some of the resources from the Out of the FOG website, and they've been immensely helpful. I'm starting to work on my CPTSD symptoms and identify the harmful behavior of my parents. I think sharing as I process and supporting others doing the same will be good for me.

I'm not feeling as much guilt as I thought I would for drafting this post. I'll see how I feel once I post. No matter how it goes, I know the guilt isn't mine to bear and it's better seen as a reminder of the unhealthy responses nurtured by my parents.

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome! You have found a good place - full of information and support. We are all on different stages of our healing. See you around on the boards!