BPD, No contact and in laws with PD - help

[potteringabout]

I've tried to make things work with H, but it got to point where my safety was an issue and I had to leave unplanned from the house I own.  I've been told I can't go back and to only go when I have someone with me.

Problem is the advice and help he is getting is coming from his family, all of them some sort of PD,  MIL is a narsisist (really strong matriarch figure of the family), sister with BPD, brother with Anto-social disorder and the final one who ran away to try and built a life but has come back to the fold (MIL is very dominating).  The less contact I have with him the more influence they have in messing things up.  I started an online business which he has over the years become involved in and knows the suppliers etc.  Most people will only deal with me but he's throwing his weight around and threatening them.  I stupidly set up a joint account so he has access to the that and that's his money supply, it not much but enough to pay the bills etc.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated in how to deal with this.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Hi, I'm sorry you're going through this and sorry you've gone without a reply! Has anything changed since you posted?

And do you have a lawyer? If not who gave you the advice to only go back with a witness? It sounds like you will need help to disentangle yourself and your business from your H. As for his Pd family members... That majorly stinks but I don't see why you would need to have anything to do with them. Am I right in interpreting that you have positioned yourself as something of a buffer between DH and his disordered family? And now that you are no longer in that position they are acting up more than ever? That would make sense, but your job is to protect yourself now. If it's that bad that you are not safe around your H, that really says it all.

[Starboard Song]

Problem is the advice and help he is getting is coming from his family, all of them some sort of PD,  MIL is a narsisist (really strong matriarch figure of the family), sister with BPD, brother with Anto-social disorder and the final one who ran away to try and built a life but has come back to the fold (MIL is very dominating).  The less contact I have with him the more influence they have in messing things up.  I started an online business which he has over the years become involved in and knows the suppliers etc.  Most people will only deal with me but he's throwing his weight around and threatening them.  I stupidly set up a joint account so he has access to the that and that's his money supply, it not much but enough to pay the bills etc.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated in how to deal with this.

Cordelia is on point. Job one is to take care of yourself, your assets, and your business. You need to take immediate steps to do that. What steps you take depends very much on where you see this relationship going.

If you are at a point where divorce is imminent, get a lawyer now, not later. Of course, always take notes or have witnesses for your interactions. Because you've been advised to leave your own home and not return alone, and also own a business, I suspect consulting an attorney is still the right next step, even if you are interested in preserving the relationship in the long run.

There is precious little you can do to manage your H or his interactions with toxic advisors, so try to focus on the things you can control.

So much good strength to you!