Overbearing PDBoss is making me uncomfortable and irritable

Started by BefuddledClarity, May 07, 2021, 02:58:58 PM

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BefuddledClarity

Hello!

So, I did have some issues at the beginning of the job, then everything went back to being smooth sailing(ex. I know my job position very well, I've made a resource guide to help others, etc)...Then I've hit another rocky road.

Recently, I got moved to a new team, and upper management wanted to appoint me as the "go to" person, since I've created my own resource guide and many find it more useful than the original one. Since I've been experiencing technical issues for about a week or more, I let leadership know I'll be finishing up training,assisting in group chat, and helping other colleagues with sending out documents(I'm the only one with the ability...apart from leadership...)

Anyways, fast forward, I've been experiencing technical issues for about a week or more, I've been emailing leadership everyday with updates from what I've received from tech team(which was hardly any for a while). Whenever I called in, they told me a different department was working on it. So I waited, and leadership finally helped me.

My current boss kept trying to call me on the work application---but due to some computer issues, I cannot take calls and have let him know several times in email but he ignored it.

Then he's always start his instant messages with "Hi Befuddled" and just call without saying what he needed.
Or when I answered by writing back, he just repeat a question to something I already answered and it was frustrating, so after awhile I just stop answering.

Last thing he asked was for my personal phone#, which I don't feel comfortable giving out. Before I could answer him, he blew up on me and told upper management with everyone on the email.

I defended myself, and said I can't take calls on the computer due to issues and said I don't feel comfortable giving out phone#, and didn't know WHY he needed it until he said last minute it was to give to the tech team.

So, he starts copying and pasting our chat from the work application onto email showing that I "don't answer" him and it makes him "uncomfortable" when I don't answer his calls, then upper management grills me with questions(TO WHICH I ALREADY ANSWERED IN SEVERAL EMAILS TO WHY I CAN'T TAKE PHONE CALLS).

I just bluntly give them the answers, I'm not on the phone because MY COMPUTER IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY. Then they ask "Well, why are you in ___status instead of tech? So you're telling me you haven't taken calls in 7+ days?" BECAUSE YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHAT STATUS TO GO IN?? I went to training status to work on what I have left and email to help other agents send out documents---I was trying to be useful. AND I'VE TOLD YOU EVERYDAY WHAT TECH ISSUES I'M EXPERIENCING AND YOU DON'T HELP ME.

I got SO angry, that I contacted HR, he helped me contact tech right away and we got my issues resolved in 5 minutes. I was worried that it would affect my job based on how upper management worded it. The HR rep chuckled and said it won't affect my job, it's just that for a minor issue as mine, and said leadership should've been handled it better pretty much and not to worry. I felt relieved after that but a little bitter.

This is the team I have to work with, that don't trust me.

I still have the same manager, just a different supervisor.

He didn't trust that I was telling the truth I suppose, I mentioned I would forward EVERY email to him if needed about my tech issues.

It made me angry, because I've sent some with him CC'ed specifically and he said he'd help me but didn't.
I told him I'm not comfortable to be on the new team anymore with how the new PDBoss treated me.

It gives me PTSD, because a former boss, who I'll call **Laoshi, would call me EVERYDAY to berate me and nick-pick everything I did wrong. I started ignoring Laoshi, and he'd call me 5+ times a day, during my break, lunch, and even called my personal cellphone which made me extremely uncomfortable, so I went above him to contact his boss and they told him to chill out on that but also said I should be answering his calls.

Lastly, my first impression of meeting new boss was negative...When we first met, he complained that I put him in a group chat with me and one other supervisor. I apologized and said I did that for last bosses to explain and tech issues and easy contact, but will remove him from it. He continued to lecture me for 30 minutes and even said he contacted upper management to see if this is "OK" and upper management said it was unnecessary and he said it's too overwhelming and so on. I apologized and said I removed him from the chat but he kept drowning on and interrupted me each time so I waited until he was done and left call when he said that was all he needed.


TDLR: Overbearing PDBoss left bad impression when I first met him, complaining about me putting him in a group chat for over 30mins. He calls me even though my work application is not in use and I've mentioned it many times. When I write back, he asks me questions I already answered so I stop answering because all he'll write is "Hi Befuddled" and not say what he wants. Upper management grills me for it, I speak to HR, HR says it's technically leaderships fault for not fixing it and don't worry about it and everything is good now.


I still want to move teams though back to old supervisor or maybe even someone else, I don't care---just not this guy.
Just not sure if upper management will listen to me based on how I was stern on defending myself?

I'm tired of people treating me like a doormat.

I can't move positions yet until I've worked X amount of time...So I can't get away from upper management either until then.

Just trying to stay out of radar. I'm tempted to find another job, but I just barely got this one and I honestly don't hate it. It's getting better and the pay is good. I want to stay for at least a year before jumping. I want to work in the tech field, but currently work for Customer Service in Finances...

How have you dealt with PD leadership/management?

Andeza

How did I deal with it? I kept my head down for a bit, bit my tongue, frantically hunted for a new job, went to interviews in secret, and landed a higher paying position for my effort. Honestly, any time I've had a PD boss, or had a new supervisor appointed that was PD, I started planning my exit strategy. I never up and quit, but rather gave notice, worked that notice religiously, and was careful not to burn bridges. But I got out. Every time I worked for a pwPD, I watched my physical or mental health begin to degrade shockingly quickly.  :blink:

Due to the prevalence of PDs in general, I think the longest I ever kept a job was two years. However, every move I made, with only one exception, ended up paying better than the previous position. Jumping ship can actually be quite lucrative if you play your cards right, but stressful nonetheless.
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous
Lasting happiness is not something we find, but rather something we make for ourselves.

BefuddledClarity

Quote from: Andeza on May 08, 2021, 12:06:43 AM
How did I deal with it? I kept my head down for a bit, bit my tongue, frantically hunted for a new job, went to interviews in secret, and landed a higher paying position for my effort. Honestly, any time I've had a PD boss, or had a new supervisor appointed that was PD, I started planning my exit strategy. I never up and quit, but rather gave notice, worked that notice religiously, and was careful not to burn bridges. But I got out. Every time I worked for a pwPD, I watched my physical or mental health begin to degrade shockingly quickly.  :blink:

Due to the prevalence of PDs in general, I think the longest I ever kept a job was two years. However, every move I made, with only one exception, ended up paying better than the previous position. Jumping ship can actually be quite lucrative if you play your cards right, but stressful nonetheless.

Glad you were able to get out of the PD job! I've jumped from PD filled job to PD filled job...but that's due to the type of job they are [customer service]. Lasted a year each for every job.

Man...Maybe I should job ship again. I did exactly what you did during my last job. It was a temp job when I was pregnant (so I was looking at other places),then they offered me a permenant position. The job quickly shown to be both toxic in the workplace and the types of customers I had to deal with(call center). So, I found this current job, pays better but still same job type(call center...).

Been thinking of getting into freelancing/entrepreneurship---have a couple of ideas in mind that range from programming, to real estate, to art related. Just scary to do, nothing is completely set in stone and I won't have a steady income [yet] until I out in more work into it. Feel like I don't have a lot of time due to working many hours and also have a child...

I was planning on staying at this job for at least a year, but we shall see...

Andeza

Studies have shown that changing jobs fairly frequently is actually the fasted way to increase your income. Seems counterintuitive, but companies are no longer loyal to their employees and pay the new guy/gal coming in more than the longhauler that's been there for 10+ years.

Don't count out industrial jobs either. That was where I found my niche and stayed the longest. It's also the only job I miss. Many industry jobs are looking for people that can work a computer reliably without chucking it out the window, and yet they tend to attract exactly the type that like to do the chucking! :bigwink: And, as a bonus, it's rarely customer facing. I burned out on customer service entirely within four years.
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous
Lasting happiness is not something we find, but rather something we make for ourselves.

xredshoesx

been there, done that, and currently dealing with a possible new version of uPD boss- very prevalent in my professional field.

currently i'm being moved to a new position without good cause but since i have the qualifications for it i can't refuse...... even though i was effective in my current role.  my boss does this every so often in the divide and conquer mode and has pushed a lot of good people out of our building....

DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT

in the past i found two other people who had been mistreated by our admin and we all went to HR.  the admin got fired - not sure if the posts are still here but that was the bulk of what i was posting about in 2012 here.   this time i'm not as worried but have talked to my union rep just in case and have been documenting the microagressions done to me/ other staff in meetings, emails, etc. 

and i am 100% with you about not sharing your personal phone.  that is a CRUCIAL boundary.

keep us in the loop

BefuddledClarity

Quote from: Andeza on May 11, 2021, 07:51:48 PM
Studies have shown that changing jobs fairly frequently is actually the fasted way to increase your income. Seems counterintuitive, but companies are no longer loyal to their employees and pay the new guy/gal coming in more than the longhauler that's been there for 10+ years.

Don't count out industrial jobs either. That was where I found my niche and stayed the longest. It's also the only job I miss. Many industry jobs are looking for people that can work a computer reliably without chucking it out the window, and yet they tend to attract exactly the type that like to do the chucking! :bigwink: And, as a bonus, it's rarely customer facing. I burned out on customer service entirely within four years.


Oh woah!! Now I don't feel bad for job hopping. Most people give me unsolicited advice to just "stick with the job and deal with it" except for my brothers---they have a similar outlook as me. I like to live simple and free---connecting to my small family and to the outdoors.

In regards to industrial job field--- I thought about working at a warehouse since I was licensed in driving different trucks or go into trade school to make more $$$. I've hurt my back pretty bad and haven't really lifted heavy like I used to...I need to get it checked out soon now that you reminded me.

Anything that isn't customer facing/talking would make me happy haha. I'm currently looking at other jobs with higher pay. I never completed my studies in engineering in uni which may have been useful if I did for job aspect-wise...but kinda don't want to go back to uni due to debt and would rather learn on my own. Now I have second thoughts about trade school hah.


My goal is to have a simple part-time job and make my passions or interests be my "full-time" job. Or...have a part-time job and another self-made part-time job like renting out space or I guess investing in a stock/bond or something, haha. Not sure yet.


Quote from: xredshoesx on May 12, 2021, 06:00:26 AM
been there, done that, and currently dealing with a possible new version of uPD boss- very prevalent in my professional field.

currently i'm being moved to a new position without good cause but since i have the qualifications for it i can't refuse...... even though i was effective in my current role.  my boss does this every so often in the divide and conquer mode and has pushed a lot of good people out of our building....

DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT

in the past i found two other people who had been mistreated by our admin and we all went to HR.  the admin got fired - not sure if the posts are still here but that was the bulk of what i was posting about in 2012 here.   this time i'm not as worried but have talked to my union rep just in case and have been documenting the microagressions done to me/ other staff in meetings, emails, etc. 

and i am 100% with you about not sharing your personal phone.  that is a CRUCIAL boundary.

keep us in the loop


Hey! Sorry to hear about all that, that sounds frustrating. I guess my PDboss and I are good?? Might have been a misunderstanding, I just felt extremely frustrated at the time---though to be honest at this job, it hasn't been a good experience for me in general. I do want to leave, but just going to wait until I find another (better) job out of customer service.

I have the emails and communications documented and went to HR prior, so they know. I make sure to email all the time to keep as records and screenshots. They pretty much said "Everything's fine, don't worry about it" so...Idk how to feel about that but I'll sleep everything under the rug for now.

For sure, I don't like giving out my number at all. I have an alternative VOiP number I usually give people before even giving my real number---I don't even want to give that number unless I have to.