Bats#&t revisited

[SparkStillLit]

So....he thinks I am mistreating him and he deserves better? (He always thinks I am mistreating him). He called me "cold, mean, unloving, snippy" and some other stuff, but those are his go-to things. When I asked for examples of this, he shouted "No!! I will not be led around in circles! You can't even answer a simple question or address the issue!" (What? I had already answered his questions, and what issue? That I'm cold, mean, and blah blah blah?)

[Chrysanthemum]

En-MIL: You've been so mean to uPD SIL, cutting her out of your life this last year. You live in the same town and you didn't invite her over for a single thing, not even a labor day barbecue!

a) I've never hosted a labor day barbecue in my life
b) 2020 was definitely not the year I started that tradition 

[Cascade]

My pdh is in the military reserves, and it continually amazes me how often he gets out of training events! Out of 20 recent events, he has so far gotten out of 12 of them. He says he wants to serve his country but whenever the possibility of doing something to serve his country comes up, he tries his best to get out of it. 

[Cat of the Canals]

unBPD MIL, immediately after delivering the news that my husband's brother had died: "You did so much for him. You had to put up with him borrowing your car..."

We moved out of state two years ago, but she remains obsessed with the fact that when we lived there, his brother borrowed our car a few times a year. It was never an issue for anyone but her, so much so that it's one of the first things she mentions after he died. 

[losingmyself]

Now it's the coffee...
"We should get another coffee maker"
"Why?"
"Because you make it so strong, people complain when they come over about how strong your coffee is"
"I'll just make it weaker"
"You don't have to do that"
"Well, apparently people are complaining about it"
"It doesn't matter, nobody ever comes over, anyway"
Which I knew was the case, firstly, and secondly, he drinks so much cream and sugar in his coffee, I can't imagine it matters.
But, hey, guess what?? He gets watery coffee, and I make myself fresh-ground in the french press. Yum!!

[Simon]

Seeing as this thread seems to have stalled a bit, thought I'd add a couple.

Here's the first one:
We didn't live together, we visited and stayed at each other's houses randomly, which worked fine.
One day, I'm sat in the living room, and the open-plan style of the house meant that I could see and hear her in the kitchen.
I'm sat on the sofa watching something on TV, and she is pottering around in the kitchen, and she suddenly stops and looks at me sternly.
I look up at her and she says "You know it's a privilege to be in my house right?"

I didn't answer,  because I was just stunned at that comment/question.
She carried on doing what she was doing, occasionally looking at me as she did, while I sat there trying to understand what the hell that was all about! 

I guess 5 minutes passed without me praising her, or showing my gratitude for allowing me to be part of her wonderful life, or something.
It may not seem as crazy as some of the quotes on here, but it summed up her attitude perfectly.
Mind boggling!

I think she kept looking at me waiting for me to say "Yes, of course. Thank you! Thank you!"

[Simon]

This one is just as crazy, and you'll have to excuse the language. It's hers not mine.

We're talking about someone that we bumped into in her street before entering her house.
She said something like yeah, he's alright.
Then she talked about his brother (or friend, can't remember), then someone else there who was friendly.

She then came out with "Everyone in this street wants to fuck me!"
She didn't bat an eyelid, and just carried on doing what she was doing.
I  kept looking back and forth waiting for her to have some reaction to what she just said, but nothing.
She wasn't joking, and obviously saw nothing wrong with saying that to her current boyfriend! lol
She wasn't super-model looking. She was a normal, everyday-looking woman, but NPD/BPD delusions make them feel like they superior to everyone else, and wanted/desired by everyone.

By the way, she had 4 ex-boyfriends in that street, and the guy she's with now is also from that street.
It's a very long street, but still. I guess she's right! 

To be serious though, she keeps a bunch of men from that street in her inner circle, some of which may well be exes, some future conquests, and hangs around with them often.
She also includes a few "older" men in that circle, being flirty and leading them on, to get her fix of attention.
She even told me once that one of the guys, in his 80s, touched her arse.
I didn't believe her. She lied a lot, so no way of knowing.

Thinking on it, I'm not from that street, so that was a change for her.
Crazy, crazy, crazy!

[JustKeepTrying]

He plops the zip loc bag on the kitchen counter.  The outside is covered in bits of garbage, coffee grinds, and eggshells.  Inside are socks.  All stained with holes.

"Saved the socks from the garbage."

"Um, I didn't throw them out."

"Who threw out these socks?  Who did this?  They are just fine."

What?!?  You went through the garbage and rescued a bag of socks with holes.  So this is what you do when you repack the garbage so the garbage doesn't accidentally charge us for too much garbage.  Glad I can laugh at it now.  No one outside of this forum would believe me that he sorts through the garbage so something isn't accidentally thrown away or we put out too many bags and get charged. 

[JustKeepTrying]

The filing system and papers.
Keeps every receipt even if for cash and a couple of bananas.
No real system to filing.  Tried to do alphabetical but he resisted and told me that my alphabetical didn't make sense.  You file the cars by the year purchased.  Not by the name of the car. 
Bought him a new wallet when the old one was ripping apart.  Exact same wallet.  Never used it.  Sat on his dresser for four years.  Complained when he started loosing stuff from his wallet.  "Use the one I bought you."  "No, this has some life yet."
"I have the best memory.  Never forget anything."  "Where are my keys?"

[Cascade]

The filing system and papers.
Keeps every receipt even if for cash and a couple of bananas.
No real system to filing.  Tried to do alphabetical but he resisted and told me that my alphabetical didn't make sense.  You file the cars by the year purchased.  Not by the name of the car.

My husband asked me to find some papers for him that were in his filing cabinet. No rhyme or reason to his filing of this paper, so of course I couldn't find it. He also keeps receipts for everything. Every once in a while I'll throw some of his receipts out. He's never noticed, so how important can they be?
My husband will use a new wallet but any wallet of his is so crammed full of papers and cards, it's about 4" think and then he has his mini wallet on top of that one.

[JustKeepTrying]

"a mini wallet on top of that one".   

[IcedCoffee]

She spent five hours on Instagram today. Then she said something like, "Now that lockdown is over I am NOT visiting any people who didn't like my Instagram posts." She has just turned on them because liking her posts wasn't their highest priority!

[CagedBirdSinging]

Him: (sobbing) I bet I won't even be invited to your parents funerals!!!!

Me: firstly, my parents have not died. Second, you hate them and have not even spoken to them for years. Why would you want to attend their funerals?!

Him: it just hurts so much to think of not being invited.

[Empie2204]

Talking about funerals...
I have my personal opinion about sizes and prices of funeral flowers, but I respect the custom.
So, seven years ago, when my father died, it was natural and spontaneous that my mother chose a big beautiful wreath. After all, my parents lived together more than 50 years.
My brother, me and my h were with her at the florists and then my dh started his (and supposedly mine) order for a giant floral arrangement which was supposed to overshadow all other wreaths.
In a second, my brother and me looked at each other and knew what to say: the widow (our mum) is the first.
We were so convincing that the wreath actually was made as a normal lovely one.
My h never forgave us our intervention.
Here in 2021 we don' t care any more.

[Cat of the Canals]

Him: (sobbing) I bet I won't even be invited to your parents funerals!!!!

I've never encountered an "invite-only" funeral. Is that a thing?

[Andeza]

Only with pwPDs, in my experience.

Wow, they really hate thinking they're being upstaged by anyone.

[Breadroll]

Me- waking up one morning with a respiratory infection, feeling awful - «  oh gosh i just can't stop coughing « 
NPD - «  that's ok you didn't wake me up, I slept like a baby »

[CagedBirdSinging]

Him: (sobbing) I bet I won't even be invited to your parents funerals!!!!

I've never encountered an "invite-only" funeral. Is that a thing?

Yeah now that you mention it. I guess he meant he wouldn't be welcome. Damn right he wouldn't be welcome, after treating them like crap for the past 6 years. Why would you want to pay your respects at a funeral if you paid ZERO respect to this person while they were alive?! Anyway as I said my parents had not passed away when we had this conversation, and I just thought it was crazy.

They hate being left out, feeling 'shunned'. Pd has refused to speak to my family for years, but still gets into a strop if not invited to my family gatherings.

And yeah breadroll the sickness thing... pd usual reaction if I'm sick is to a) panic that he might catch something ...b) try to upstage me by being much sicker than me. You know, the kind of coughing/limping that only occurs when spouse is in the room, then miraculously vanishes when he thinks nobody is watching. When I was pregnant it was shocking. If I complained at all about being tired or feeling lousy esp during 3rd trimester, he would say 'yeah me too' and proceed to lecture about how much WORSE he felt than me.

[BeautifulCrazy]

PDxH: Loudly swearing and berating me about something to do with the internet ...."that he f-ing pays for and maybe I better f-ing well stop using"..... while he is making himself a grilled sandwich in the kitchen of the house I pay the mortgage for, with the groceries I purchased, using the electric, gas and water that I pay for.

[SeaBreeze]

Today, uNPDh interrupted a task I was doing. One I've done before with no input from him. Then he tried coaching me on said task. (That micro-managing discussed here at Out of the FOG in a few recent posts...)

I very politely said "I know, honey." And that's all it took to trigger H stomping away in a huff. I know not to engage or JADE, but I needed to understand WTH now? I followed and asked him, "Why is it offensive that I don't need help?" When he didn't answer, I added, "Surely you have better things to do with your time than help me with something I don't need help doing?"

He turned to me with an exasperated look and said "No, honestly, I don't!!!"

(Yep, some of our PDs really need to find a hobby...)