Dysfunction at its finest

[Justme729]

I just can't deal with these people.....

I think I am at a point of no holding back facts.  Not dwelling on the past, but just telling my side of history.

Hubby and I would love to renew our vows, but on our own terms.   My aunt told me her, my mom, and grandma were discussing how sad it was that we didn't have a real wedding. They assumed it was because I was pregnant and/or too humble to ask for help financially to have a formal wedding.  Nope!   Nothing to do with either one of those factors.   *You* choose to go back to an abusive ex.  *you* choose to abandon my brothers and I again and again.   I robbed my dad of walking me down the aisle....nope.  He has made the choice over and over that important events in my life are not important to him.  He was out of the country for my graduation, he didn't stand up for me as a kid, he hasn't made it a priority t o see his grandchildren unless he can make it part of a business trip or involves seeing his mom also.  If we did an actual wedding ceremony it wouldn't have been any different.  He has made it a priority to go to my brother's multiple graduations (he has changed his major multiple times, graduates then decided he wants to do something else with his life).  Both sides of the family have feelings about traveling.  Some legit can't travel.  We were just so over it.  We wanted to get married on our terms and enjoy our lives.  That we have done.  We want to go do something fun to renew our vows for 20 years.  I don't care for their drama.  renewing our vows with my aunt involved will be so my mom and other relatives feel better.   Screw that.  I'm not here to please anyone.

I told her "remember what was happening at the time.....remember abc.....I was so hurt and betrayed.  Getting married was something special to me and husband.  We didn't want drama.  We don't regret it one bit."  We didn't realize it at the time, but that was the first boundary that we set.  Our relationship/marriage/family is on our terms.  If it isn't healthy, it isn't happening.   I'm so thankful fora husband who always is amazing.  My family blames him for me setting boundaries and he takes it in stride.  God forbid someone actually realized their own faults. :sigh:

[Leonor]

 

Here's to creating and celebrating your marriage on your terms!

[Cat of the Canals]

I'm clapping with Leonor. Congratulations on the upcoming renewal and good on you for choosing to focus on the good things and not the drama!