Narcissistic Tendencies and ADHD

[75Nell]

Hi..I'm new...alone, angry and confused. My husband of 34 years has recently been diagnosed with ADHD and Narcissistic Tendencies. His actions now make so much more sense! During this process we retired, moved to be closer to grandchildren etc and then COVID hit. Needless to say his behavior seems to be even more prevalent and I'm at my wits end. No one else including my kids sees it because he is really good at changing and hiding how he really is.  I'm very nice but have a temper so I guess I've been a pretty good target. I'm 64 and feel very stuck. Any support and insight would be so appreciated..wish I could laugh but it's all just too sad. Thanks for listening.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Hi and welcome. I don't know a lot about adult ADHD, but one of my kids was diagnosed with ADHD not too long ago. Doing the Vanderbilt Assessment, I was shocked at how many of the questions could also apply to PD. About half of them. Denying responsibility/blaming others for mistakes, manipulative behaviors, bullying, etc. Alas I also have a temper.

[ShyTurtle]

Welcome! My ex was adhd with npd and bpd.  I was once very stuck. I tried to leave him once and failed, but succeeded the second time. One major thing that helped me succeed the second time was getting support and counselling through the local women's shelter. I don't know if you plan to leave your husband, but I will tell you that leaving gave me immediate relief and peace. I hope you find peace for yourself too, whatever that looks like for you.

[Boat Babe]

ADHD is a manageable condition and my ex(nonPD) of 20 years had it but was a very good person.   It comes with it's challenges but is not comparable to a PD.  You can of course have both.