Does anyone else identify the PD they are with as an abuser?

[Xyz]

I identify the person I am with as an abuser.

Anyone else?

[Hazy111]

All PDs abuse,  because they are disordered developmentally stunted individuals.  The type of abuse depends on the individual and is linked to the type of abuse they received in their formative years .

[Free2Bme]

xyz,

Yes, I knew my H was an abuser for many years.  I was reluctant to reveal this truth to outsiders though.

It took a long time before I felt comfortable saying out loud  that H was an abuser and that I had been abused for over 20 years.  I feared being grouped in with people who throw the word around to get attention or pretend to be a victim.

I eventually got over being concerned what other people thought, or if they believed me.

There is liberation in this realization I think.

~peace

[SeaBreeze]

Yes. I finally realized H was an emotional abuser about 7 years into our relationship. Took several more to realize the abuse stems from his uNPD (and that my emotionally abusive mother and first H were also Narcs.) The PD does not excuse their abuse, but it explains things that help me better navigate my current marriage while formulating a safer, better exit strategy. It's also guided me in overcoming codependency so I don't keep falling back into the abusive cycle with NPDs.