Trying to Recover from HIM

[love2run26]

Hi Everyone,
I'm new here and looking for support. About one month ago I FINALLY ended it with my narcissistic boyfriend after he pushed me too far. I believe he did this on purpose because he really wanted to break up with me and didn't have the guts to make the final cut. So, instead of being an adult and actually talking things through, he started encouraging me to find a new BF (we were in an open relationship) and began spending more and more time with his new supply. He admitted he liked her, but kept telling me I was his "favorite". There were always other women in the back ground since it was an open relationship, and I dated other guys too, but it was always to match his stride. Never to replace him. Even though he insisted he wasn't looking for someone to take my place, he eventually did and now I've been thrown aside wondering what the hell happened. One day we were great and looking forward to the summer, the very next day he wanted to take a "break" to figure out what he really wanted...and "wasn't going to date anyone else" during our break. Well guess what. Yep, he continued seeing the new girl and spending all his free time with her while I cried my eyes out at home completely confused. And this comes on the heals of 2 years of me TRYING to break things off with him because of his bad behavior and he always sucked me back in. But not this time. This time I've been permanently dumped and feel so incredibly awful, depressed, and sad. Hard to get out of bed and zero energy to do anything. I SO WISH I stuck to the first time I tried to break up with him 14 months ago. So stupid of me!!! (PS- This guys a doctor and runs a "3 billion dollar a year healthcare system" as he like to continually remind EVERYONE in his vicinity, including me even after I've heard this 3 billions times. Narcissitic much 

[TimetoHeal]

Hi, there!

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  It is very painful to be discarded like that.  Be sure you are taking very good care of yourself with sleep, gentle exercise, healthy food, and support from friends and family and a professional if you need to.  It will get better as time goes on, but the early days are rough. 

Hugs and welcome!  (I'm new here too!   )

[TimetoHeal]

I meant to add that journaling has been VERY helpful for me as well.  Both in getting out my feelings on paper and looking back to see that my emotions do change over time.  Sometimes it seems like one step forward two steps back, but that is the normal, cyclical nature of healing.  Take care!!