uBPD Mom's Horrible Eating Habits

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Spring Butterfly

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Re: uBPD Mom's Horrible Eating Habits
« Reply #20 on: August 07, 2021, 02:33:38 PM »
Children are supposed to grow up to adults and leave home to go live their own full life. For many that's the definition of parental success  - their child is a full adult mentally, emotionally, physically and financially sound. To PD parents a child individuating and living life is total rejection. They are not mentally or emotionally equipped to see their success and celebrate your success. So sad

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Since the day I went away to college 26 years ago, she's done nothing but wail and moan about how she's been abandoned, how I don't care about her, etc. etc. all because I chose to unenmesh and live my own life as an adult. She folds her crappy eating habits into this narrative by constantly proclaiming "I don't eat well because there's no point since I'm all by myself."
« Last Edit: August 10, 2021, 09:37:07 PM by Spring Butterfly »
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witchyhazel

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Re: uBPD Mom's Horrible Eating Habits
« Reply #21 on: August 07, 2021, 07:53:19 PM »
I wouldn't be surprised if food issues are common with PDs. My uBPD mom has always used food to self-soothe and will binge on junk food when she's depressed or feels strong negative emotions. But at other times she goes on crazy crash diets and can become very controlling about both her food and other people's foods. As a kid there were periods where I was quite underfed because when uPBD mom was on a diet, everyone was. But these diets, being very restrictive, fortunately never lasted!

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JustKathy

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Re: uBPD Mom's Horrible Eating Habits
« Reply #22 on: August 08, 2021, 09:23:00 PM »
I wonder if these poor eating habits have anything to do with the PD parent believing that they're invincible. When I was growing up my Nmother always told me that sickness was something that happened to bad people who somehow deserved it. I'm pretty sure my mother faked cancer all the time because she never thought she'd actually get it. Sickness happened to other people, but not to her. When she was actually diagnosed with cancer the meltdown was unbelievable. She was special and this couldn't happen to her. I don't think it ever crossed her mind that living on junk food could be harmful.

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nanotech

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Re: uBPD Mom's Horrible Eating Habits
« Reply #23 on: August 09, 2021, 08:49:48 PM »
I wonder if these poor eating habits have anything to do with the PD parent believing that they're invincible. When I was growing up my Nmother always told me that sickness was something that happened to bad people who somehow deserved it. I'm pretty sure my mother faked cancer all the time because she never thought she'd actually get it. Sickness happened to other people, but not to her. When she was actually diagnosed with cancer the meltdown was unbelievable. She was special and this couldn't happen to her. I don't think it ever crossed her mind that living on junk food could be harmful.
This is interesting. I can relate. The same perceptions abounded in my FOO, that people who became ill had brought it on themselves in some way. When my mum got cancer (non drinker, non smoker, but also a non exerciser who loved her food and didn’t always eat healthily) no one  could believe it. The whole family went crazy. My mum did say to me;
‘ I thought we’d just go on for ever.’ (meaning her and dad).

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JustKathy

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Re: uBPD Mom's Horrible Eating Habits
« Reply #24 on: August 10, 2021, 07:51:28 PM »
The same perceptions abounded in my FOO, that people who became ill had brought it on themselves in some way. When my mum got cancer (non drinker, non smoker, but also a non exerciser who loved her food and didn’t always eat healthily) no one  could believe it. The whole family went crazy.

Exactly, everyone who was sick had brought it on themselves. When an uncle passed away it was, "Well he drank too much so he had it coming." When an aunt died of uterine cancer I was told she got that particular cancer from "sleeping around." They had all engaged in some behavior that she disapproved of, and their sickness and death was a punishment for that bad behavior. But... she was flawless and would live forever. She spent years openly telling everyone what she was going to do with my father's money once he died. She had big plans and just could NOT believe it when the tables were turned and she was the one who got sick.

My Nmother also never smoke or drank but lived on junk food and never exercised a day in her life. She was diagnosed with cancer at a relatively young age (mid-70s). I'm sure her lifestyle contributed to it in some way.