Thank you, everybody, for the further replies! I'm sorry, I wasn't on here this weekend. I had a rough weekend, at least partially hormonally fueled, LOL, and just needed to journal and cry my way through it. But I am better today!
Jollyjazz,
Thank you so much for your kind words. You are right. That was straight up emotional abuse. It really hurt. My mother is great at getting in jabs like that. They don't really seem "that bad", except that they hurt like hell. I intend to really minimize my time with her even more from this point. It sounds like you are doing well and on the road to healing yourself, JollyJazz! I'm glad to get to know you on here. Our FOO can really do a number on us and set us up for a lifetime of choosing toxic partners, can't they? Well, we have the power to say NO MORE, whether we're 20, 50, or 90!

Thank you, Andeza, for your encouragement and helping me realize exactly what is going on here, and that I am NOT responsible for how she feels.
This forum is so awesome and I'm so glad I finally joined!

BTW: I did do something nice for me this weekend: I got a massage for the first time in 2 years. It was great! I am looking for a counselor/therapist to start working with. I've had a hard time finding a good one in the past. But I will keep trying.