Help coping with Narc and BPD Nurse Boss

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Sanaya93

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Help coping with Narc and BPD Nurse Boss
« on: August 03, 2021, 12:45:33 PM »
Wow all, hello.....I haven’t been on in years. I was hoping someone out there could help me with my job situation....I am in my mid 40’s and obtained a Nursing degree in 2018. I worked in the Nursing Home LTC setting prior to becoming a nurse, and for 2 years after. When COVID hit, I left LTC for the clinic setting. I worked for 9 months in an extremely toxic and politically charged office with Nurse Practitioners. There seems to be a lot of NPD and BPD among NP’s, I assume for various reasons. After leaving there last Spring, I started working in an even smaller clinic office, for a Nurse Practitioner (Female NPD BPD). I am her nurse assistant, and we have an office manager. Just the 3 of us.
The office manager tried to warn me before I started, stating that “we have been through several nurses in the last few months”. Now I know why.
My boss the NP with NPD and BPD, drives us crazy. We never know what kind of mood she will be in, she blames everyone else but herself for mistakes and occurrences. She has a grandiose sense of accomplishment, and thinks she’s smarter than everyone else despite working in every hospital setting in the area, all of whom will not hire her ever again because of her extreme behavior.
I absolutely love my job duties AND my work partner office manager, we both hate our boss, and have declared that we are in this together. We feel as if we are just pawns in her game every day.
We feel that putting up with her moods, her games, her projecting  :stars: her manipulations and her blaming are sucking the life out of us, and draining us daily. I want to be free of this constant energy drain, but still be able to enjoy my job and the wonderful patients who love me. She is extremely manic in her moods, volatile and unpredictable. The worst is when she has you cornered and goes on a rant about something like “ Simone Biles mental state”  for 30 minutes to your face and you can’t leave the room. I sit in a small small office with her, and never get a break.
Any ideas on energy protection? As soon as she goes back into the room with a patient, office manager and I vent about her. It’s the only way we can cope. She’s selfish, she lies, she steals and she’s a horrible mom and wife.  She projects all day long the things she can’t stand about herself to us. It’s gotten to the point that we just push back and call her out on her behavior. Knowing that either one of us could walk out at any time. She seems to not understand that she would be lost without us, She’s utterly ridiculous and abusive and I desperately want out.
Thanks in advance. Sorry so long.

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moglow

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Re: Help coping with Narc and BPD Nurse Boss
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2021, 01:30:08 PM »
Honestly? Based on similar instances in my own history I'd be looking for another job. If asked directly why you left, you can site professional differences and leave it at that. I wouldn't smack talk her to potential new employers because that only reflects on you. Plenty others in the area have probably heard it about her before but that's not your stuff and you don't have to explain it.

It will suck the life out of you and you can easily grow to dread each day - that's no way to live. You can't change other people but you can do whatever it takes to make your own life better, including joining with your office manager and designing an exit,

"Expectations are disappointments under construction.”  ~ Cap'n Spanky

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!

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Sanaya93

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Re: Help coping with Narc and BPD Nurse Boss
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2021, 05:52:54 PM »
I did it. I quit.  :) She threw a tantrum in front of me and our patient, so I gave myself the afternoon off, then left a letter of resignation with the business manager and my key. No way I was going to go back into the Lion’s den....No way, no how. Word is, she had a violent rage then spent 2 days triangulating and blaming. Can’t wait for next week when office manager and I are both gone. She can’t run the office by herself.