Epiphany in the shower

[Associate of Daniel]

(For some reason most of my moments of epiphany occur when I'm in the shower. Funny but irrelevant realisation in itself.)

For years I've been praying that ds (now 14 1/2) would see the reality of his uNPD smother and uNPD father.  I've also been praying that he'd grow beyond their emotional age.  I think they're stuck at about 10 to 12 years old.  They're both in their mid 40s.

My latest epiphany is that, him not seeing the reality of them is actually a good thing.  It means he is not having to deal with childhood trauma, and is therefore maturing emotionally beyond their emotional age.

I work with a few children who are victims of childhood trauma.  I'm so thankful my ds is (so far) not another such victim.

God knows what He's doing. And I have a wonderful blessing of a son to prove it.

AOD

[hhaw]

That's the rose and the thorn in these situations, I agree.

You want to shield the kids from the adult conflict, BUT it doesn't always serve us to BE THE ONLY ONES sheilding kids, IME.

Know you ARE that parent and your son will likely come to see that with clarity one day.

The PDs usually out themselves if we can remain level and resist being jerked into reactivity by insane PD conduct, IME.

I also think showering, doing dishes, yardwork and housework can be walking meditation when we're able to drop worry about the fugture and regret over the past...... it sometimes feels like being in the zone, to me. 

We have access to higher thinking, logical and creative problem solving frontal lobe brain which is really helpful, IME.