Is this Normal? How long does it last?

[Findingme1991]

Is it normal to be ok for some time snd then suddenly you see then again and you're shattered all over again? Asking yourself why he doesn't want you? Even though you know logically it's not as simple as that with someone who has a PD. When will I finally be ok

[Boat Babe]

I remember that time and how it felt. I'm utterly grateful I don't feel like that anymore. It does get better, it really does. One way to ride these waves of grief is to remind yourself that they will pass. We learn that grief is not linear. That healing has its all own timeline. That the more we learn, the more secure is our healing. 

Big hugs brave one.

[bohemian butterfly]

Yes, I thinks it's normal because it's a trauma bond.  I'm going through something similar, so I'm so sorry you are experiencing this pain right now too. Although I didn't physically see my ex, I stopped by his place to pack up the rest of my belongings and I was completely triggered from the memories.

It will get better, but please know that your feelings are valid and that you are not alone.

Thinking of you.

[Free2Bme]

Findingme1991,

I have experienced this, however I went through most of it by the time I left. 

It hurts, but the turning point for me is when I was able to accept that he was never in it from the get-go, he never viewed me the way he claimed (or what I imagined).

I also had to learn that I was not the reason he didn't value me.  I am not perfect, but I am loveable.

I came to realize that all the women he used for supply were no more valuable to him than me, or vice-versa,

It was like I had been in a relationship with a vapor, or a ghost.  There was never anything real about him, or us.

When I got a hold of these things, and held tight to this reality, then I was free.  Because then I knew it was never about me or my inadequacy.

Being good to our self involves telling ourselves the truth.

[JustKeepTrying]

 

Seeing him is a trigger.  Even something simple like a text or an email just churns up all those emotions.  Ugh.

It does get easier as time goes - the reaction is not as strong as before or maybe I am better now at controlling the reaction.  Either way it did get better for me.  I hope it does for you.