Threatening wellness checks

[Sidney37]

Thanks Moglow
I'm definitely not responding to them over the texts from neighbors and relatives.  I've informed the people that they've contacted, at least the ones I know about, that they should respond however they want including to ask them to stop bothering them if that's what they want. 

The confusing part for us is, does my husband respond to directly tell them to stop contacting him?  We're totally on the same page.  He supports my NC with them.  He's pretty frustrated that they called and upset his relatives.  But he's having a hard time with an email  being sent to his work account (probably monitored) that includes lies and exaggerations about him.  He's very much a " set the record straight" kind of person especially at work.  Should he remain strictly NC to remain and appear on "my team" to them and not reinforce their bad behavior (ah-ha... we can get to her by emailing his work account... let's keep doing this!)?  Or since he isn't me (who is strictly NC) respond to them by setting the record straight and also asking them to stop contacting him as well?

I want to make sure I do this the right way without reinforcing their bad behavior.

[Seven]

I think your husbands employer's IT Dept can put a block on the incoming email address. So he should ask whomever is in charge of that to do so.

[moglow]

I lean towards him responding "Please don't contact me again. Sidney has been very clear with you what it would take to resume any form of contact and youve chosen to ignore her requests. I stand with my wife and family, and any further contact from you will be considered harassment." And have any/all known emails blocked at his work. Or just block them via official channels and move on - yes it may be an awkward conversation but I guarantee his employer has seen it before and may understand more than you know.

Again, it feels they're thinking to shame y'all into submission, not genuinely find middle ground. That has a whole other tone and verbiage. There is NO shame in their behavior for you - you're the recipients, not the senders. They're just showing who they are.

I cant help but think the only goal here is to get to you and stir you up, NOT resolution. It's feels spiteful, vindictive and childish to me, them bullying their way into AHA! SEE how they treat us.

Silence is golden. 🤗

[Call Me Cordelia]

 

Yes, this really feels similar to my NF's tactics. Through your past posts I've seen a lot of similarities between your parents and my own. I suspect they're the same subtype or whatever you'd classify it is as. Dark triad, actually psychopathic types.

Once, before coming Out of the FOG myself, my sister stopped responding to my parents' calls etc. for about a week. There had been a big drama with her, and they were "worried" about her. My father tracked down her office phone number, which she had not shared with him, and demanded to speak to her at work. She caved. It was a new job for her and she was afraid of being fired.

At the time I was worried about her as well, but I wasn't blowing up her phone, etc. My father told me gleefully over the phone, "I hit pay dirt!!!"  He was so worried about her, right? No, he'd gotten what he wanted and it was like a spoiled child who'd gotten his parents to give in yet again and he was all smug about it. Don't you think that crossed a line, dad? Now she has more problems at work and we all know she's under a lot stress. Well she had no right to do what she did!!! No caring, no worry. Just I won.

I know you won't let them.