Appropriate response

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Justme729

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Appropriate response
« on: September 22, 2021, 10:52:16 PM »
I’m going through a bit medically.   I just got out of quarantine.   Now I’m dealing with some other stuff that might (will) require surgery. 

Message to team
“Hey team- FYI I’ll be gone part of this day.”   
Team member - “you know we have this going on”
Me “yes I’m aware; it will get done.”
Team member- “but….but….this….that….”

Listen- the correct response is “thanks for letting us know.”  Or even a “will you be returning after?”   Thanks!   I’m already scheduled a month away.  My doctor never has openings.  It isn’t the ideal day, but I don’t have a choice. 

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moglow

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Re: Appropriate response
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2021, 01:20:14 AM »
A dear friend recently reminded me of BIFF principle - brief, informative, friendly, firm. That's what work needed and you delivered. An individual's personal reaction is not your circus, not your monkeys. Friendly and firm, smile when you're typing if it helps. (I've had mixed results but I try.)

Snarky mo would likely have popped off (as I did in the past with my presumed PD maternal unit - mixed results there too) "Thank you for asking! I've got everything covered here/home/family and just wanted all of you to be aware." Period. End of. They're left thinking ... Oh. I didn't ask or express any concern, maybe I need to rethink that. Or not. Either way you simply refuse to discuss further other than need to know basis. Again, their reaction isn't yours to carry, you have your own load. At the end of the day I try to remember we all have stuff, some heavier or more cumbersome than others. And we don't all let it show, so there that.

Wishing you the best with the procedure and recovery, that all goes smooth as silk for you! (See how that works, unidentified team member?!) If you like to read, may I suggest The Four Agreements during your downtime? Pretty sure we've got a link to Amazon in our bookstore if you want to purchase there - if not there please let us know so I can get it done. I'm on my umpteenth reread, trying to focus on "don't take it personally." I'm an awful student, but at least I'm persistent until I eventually get it!


"Expectations are disappointments under construction.”  ~ Cap'n Spanky

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!

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Justme729

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Re: Appropriate response
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2021, 09:17:46 AM »
Thanks!   I’m glad it seemed like I came off straight to the point, with facts.  I have been struggling with this team.   I’m very passionate, so it can be a challenge.

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Justme729

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Re: Appropriate response
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2021, 07:21:17 PM »
Team member: “where is my abc.”
Me:  “you’ll get it next week.”
Team member: “but I want it now.”
Me: “sorry, I will have it done on Monday.”  (It isn’t due until Friday of next week)

Me thinking: if you want it now, you can do it yourself.”