Unpdh in hospital

tragedy or hope · October 31, 2021, 04:18:48 PM

My unpdh had to be admitted to the hospital today. We both had covid the last couple of weeks. He is having difficulty breathing. I am better.

In spite of his quirks, he is still worthy of love. He is the love of my life and 95 % of my every day. This I say with full knowledge of what caused me come to this site, and keeps me here.

Pray for the best God ordained outcome for us please. It's out of my hands.

Andeza · October 31, 2021, 05:07:18 PM

Will do, and praying for strength for you whatever the outcome. Take care of yourself too. Recovering from covid can be very rough and take a while.

bloomie · October 31, 2021, 06:31:55 PM

tragedy or hope - I'm so sorry to hear your H's condition has taken this turn. Praying for both of your health and peace in the waiting.

square · October 31, 2021, 08:13:59 PM

Praying for you both, hon.

Mary · October 31, 2021, 10:38:45 PM

I am sorry and will pray for you in this stressful time.
Mary

tragedy or hope · November 02, 2021, 09:50:42 AM

Well, he is fiesty, telling the nurses jokes and feeling much better. Everything about him is the same. And me too.

It has been a very strange experience. Thank you for your prayers. Maybe more on this kind of emergency when things are back to normal.

Near death experience of my unpdh puts the petty things I am not dealing with for me in perspective. What we think we want, what we think will be best for us and what IS are very different things.

All life is precious.

SonofThunder · November 02, 2021, 10:04:41 AM

Tragedy or Hope, i am Just seeing this request. I will pray for your updh and for you as well, and God's will. Glad to read he is starting to feel better. Looking forward to your insight regarding yourself, gleaned by your experience.

SoT

bloomie · November 02, 2021, 05:49:52 PM

tragedy or hope - a good update that he is feeling better.

Mary · November 03, 2021, 09:37:32 PM

Good news! Thank you for the update. I'm glad you are doing OK.

tragedy or hope · November 07, 2021, 12:27:36 PM

He is getting better.

What I have confirmed for me... I have a God I can rely on to meet me where I am at any stage of a problem.

Sickness does not change a pd person. He is still barely communicating and does not answer direct questions via text although nurses tell me he is talking them up on different occasions. This I expected.

Loneliness does not seem to be in my ballpark. I have been alone but, it is not a lot different than when he is here. He does not talk to me much, I do all the talking. His face, hands, eyes and interest are on his phone, his games and his outside feed sources. This I hope I can change. Just to talk less. I waste words thoughts and ideas on his feigned interest.

My nervous system has had a chance to recoup. The crazy kind of communication I deal with is so evident to me in it's absence. The biggest thing is sleeping through the night, which I have not been doing in years. Some of it may have to do with my recovery from the "C-19" also; but my sleep is peaceful because my soul has not been yanked on all day.

I feel that when he returns, it will be all about him, and on some level until he is completely well I get it. I will again, kind of just zone out, be light and polite and love him for who he is. However, I will also give myself whatever I need first.

I had the ability to not fret about what HE was going through as I would have in the past. It is HIS experience, not mine. HIS health, for which he has taken NO suggestions from me to stay healthy and I doubt any of that will change.

I have a good grip on how and why I care for him, but he no longer consumes me, and hasn't for at least a year.

I also know with health will return all of the things that drive me to this website.
This is my life. I don't regret or feel bad about it anymore. I can accept what is, knowing I can live without things that used to break my heart not to have.

Yet, in the future I expect I will limp here wounded by being maligned in some way I did not expect.

I just feel I have gotten some good perspective and clearly see the source of my lack of peace most of the time. It isn't me, my thoughts, or my decisions. It is living with unpd... it is an illness, I have to understand that and continue to know things are not normal, they never will be.

Maybe more later. I am glad for him for his good report from the Dr.

I have no hate or resentment in my heart and that is the best care I can give myself.

1footouttadefog · November 07, 2021, 01:11:21 PM

I have come to a similar place on many if the topics you bring up.

I think acceptance if what is and what cannot change and even if what never was, or was only imagined to be are all healthy.

Sleep. I can remember when I first started sleeping in a separate then later my own space.

I had not realized just how sleep deprived I had become. Recently we revisited this area. Oh has some physical ahd mental health issues and was not sleeping. His actions were depriving me if sleep once morem. He had begun pacing at night and verbally griping on and off that he could not breathe. Opening and closing doors in kitchen at all hours etc etc etc. Loud TV in house at all hours.

He is no in the bottom of the house then n a cement floor with tile and I am upstairs. I no longer hear his foot falls booming on the floor, his dropped or thrown down shoes, cabinet doors etc. Amazingly the tv sound barely if ever makes it upstairs.

I am realizing he was likely playing it loudly just to I tried upon our minds with his choice of noise. Poor daughters trying the to college from home. At least the tv thing was a recent nuisance and not something they have always suffered as we did not used to have a TV playing in the home.

I hope you can find a solution that getting good sleep. It's so very important to good mental and physical health.

square · November 07, 2021, 01:38:32 PM

H is awake all noght and also doesn't have the presence of mind to be quiet - I don't think for him this is a PD thing, bid for attention, etc. He just is not very aware and he does everything con gusto so doors are shut firmly and things are put down heavily. He also has an odd walk, very heavy on his heels, his mother and daughter also have that.

Anyway, this was torture for me for so long and we had so many fights about it. I'm a light sleeper and also seem to lack the ability to fall back asleep - if I wake up, I'm done for. I've been like that all my life; my poor mother didn't get to enjoy my nap times as a toddler because I didn't take them - fortunately I self entertained just fine.

About 3 years ago I tried ear plugs. They were hard to get used to for me, because I could hear my heartbeat thundering in my ears. I guess not everybody experiences that but I do. But my brain learned to filter out the sound over time and now it's unusual for me to be awakened, despite activity actually ramping up - H coming in and out of the house literally all night.

We do have seperate rooms, otherwise this wouldn't be enough.

1footouttadefog · November 12, 2021, 11:18:27 PM

I have a relative who was on a military flight crew. They would make flights around the globe. He had to sleep with ear plugs only put a plug in the ear that is off the pillow. the ear that is in the pillow will be able to hear enough to allow your brain to feel safe and you should not hear or feel your pulse as much this way.