PD phone call BINGO

[Call Me Cordelia]

Really really!

The gym was massive supply. This is hardly a bingo because it happened one time but: listing names of people at the gym as suggestions for my unborn child’s name.

And no I didn’t make that one up, either!

[Cat of the Canals]

Good lord. I thought it was bad when PDmom asked me if I knew what my brother was naming his firstborn:

Me: He told me they were thinking of naming him [TOTALLY NORMAL, PERFECTLY FINE NAME].
Mom: Yes, that's what he told me, but I don't believe that's actually the name. He just said that to annoy me.
Me: ?????????????

No idea what her problem was with the name. And she'd probably deny this conversation now because they did in fact name him that, and now she has to give him the full GC treatment.

[Boat Babe]

Phone call with mum

Me "Can you make a list of the things you do don't eat so I can plan meals when you come?"

Mum: I can't do that. I haven't got the time. (She does nothing btw)

Me: OK, I know you don't eat X, Y and Z

Mum: Oh I do now. Since I've been taking tumeric I can eat anything.

This goes on for some time.

Mum: I'm sorry to be so much trouble.

Full metal waif BINGO!

[WinterStar]

-Attempting to offload junk I don't want on me.
-Withholding stuff I do want.

Hahahhahahha. So true!

For over a decade my mom wouldn't give me a movie that had been a birthday present to me from her. She said it belonged to her even though I have a vivid memory of unwrapping it, and it came with the soundtrack, which I still have. The kicker? My mom proudly "doesn't watch television." She employs her time more wisely to higher pursuits.

But the amount of broken junk she's unloaded on me over the years is insane.

Also, she recently offered to give me the movie. It was clearly an attempt to reel me back in.

[Cat of the Canals]

Those are two very good ones. PDmom and PDmil constantly try to bait us with stuff. Thankfully, neither one of them actually knows us well enough to figure out what we'd actually want, so the bait is usually an easy, "No thanks."

[junedee]

1) Excessively talking about the business she started (she's a life coach...yikes) and how successful it is. Bonus points if she talks about how much money she makes.
2) "You need to come visit me"
3) Her partner and how much she loves/hates her (depending on the day)
4) Whatever body part, "trauma", or memory is causing her pain that day
5) Me: Say something about myself
     Her: Make what I just said about her
6) Bringing up painful memories (that are her fault) from the past and insisting we "work through" them and getting angry when I say I don't want to
7) Crying

Not every time, but I must include
8) Going absolutely ballistic and telling me I am cruel, have no compassion, and that she has to "walk on eggshells" around me 

[WinterStar]

Those are two very good ones. PDmom and PDmil constantly try to bait us with stuff. Thankfully, neither one of them actually knows us well enough to figure out what we'd actually want, so the bait is usually an easy, "No thanks."

For me, the offers have gotten better as I've moved away emotionally. My mom has always employed tears, which worked for many years. I have eliminated teary exchanges by engaging only over email or visits where my children are present. She has sent emotional emails asking for the chance to deliver more tears. I have declined. Suddenly, that movie I wanted over 10 years ago is available. I replaced it already. Suddenly, the board game that belonged to my great-grandmother that my mom doesn't play but didn't want to give me is also available. Well, I bought that too. Suddenly, she wants to "understand" me. Seriously. The thing I most want from the universe. It's kinda like she knew what I wanted all along.

[WinterStar]

5) Me: Say something about myself
     Her: Make what I just said about her
6) Bringing up painful memories (that are her fault) from the past and insisting we "work through" them and getting angry when I say I don't want to
7) Crying

These three are hugely relatable. Sorry your mom does this.

[JustKat]

My mom proudly "doesn't watch television." She employs her time more wisely to higher pursuits.

My mother made the same claim. Even though she watched countless hours of network television, she always told others that she didn't watch television at all, and if she did, she would only watch PBS because they had "educational" programming. 

[Cat of the Canals]

Suddenly, that movie I wanted over 10 years ago is available. I replaced it already. Suddenly, the board game that belonged to my great-grandmother that my mom doesn't play but didn't want to give me is also available. Well, I bought that too. Suddenly, she wants to "understand" me. Seriously. The thing I most want from the universe. It's kinda like she knew what I wanted all along.

I quit asking my mother for pretty much anything as a child. She never honored my requests, so I realized I was better off not setting myself up for disappointment. I suspect this is the only thing that's kept me safe from this.

There are a few things I wanted from my grandmother. One was a fur coat (at the time, I was a teenager and the idea of a fancy fur coat seemed novel and hilarious). I got that. Mom kept it for me since I was going to college. A few years ago I suggested trying to sell it on Etsy or Ebay. Mom got it out, had my SIL try it on, and then announced, "OH IT FITS YOU SO PERFECTLY, YOU SHOULD KEEP IT!" I mean, if SIL wanted it (she didn't because WHO ACTUALLY WANTS A FUR COAT?), I would have gladly let her have it, but it is mine, and my mother didn't even pretend to ask me if she could give it away.

The other item was one of my grandmother's rings. It was actually the only thing I truly wanted. My aunt claimed it, and that's fine -- it was her mother, after all. But I wouldn't be surprise if when my aunt passes, my mom suddenly wants to make me jump through some kind of hoop for the ring (my aunt has no children and has already told us everything will be left to me, my mom, and my brother).

[DM178]

Trying to come up with a bingo card that may contain other "letters" (you all have done a fabulous job of covering so many!)..here goes...

1. "haven't heard from you in a while..."
2. latest trip to deep discount store
3. latest netflix series
4. latest book that has been read
5. complaint about another sibling who is in contact with her
6. complaint about another sibling who is not in contact with her
7. complaint about spouse
8. complaint about home maintenance items / expense of them
9. disappointment in me over (fill in the blank)
10.  NOT ASKING ONE QUESTION ABOUT ME / my spouse / life (bonus points for this one)

Wow...so enlightening that the conversations at not just a tired broken record on eternal  repeat..and that the "hit list" is so "all about her".....

everyone, please have a relaxing, safe and sane holiday!

[SunnyMeadow]

1. "haven't heard from you in a while..."
2. latest trip to deep discount store
3. latest netflix series
4. latest book that has been read
5. complaint about another sibling who is in contact with her
6. complaint about another sibling who is not in contact with her
7. complaint about spouse
8. complaint about home maintenance items / expense of them
9. disappointment in me over (fill in the blank)
10.  NOT ASKING ONE QUESTION ABOUT ME / my spouse / life (bonus points for this one)
everyone, please have a relaxing, safe and sane holiday!

Same to you DM178! I'm always relieved when all the guilt inducing holidays are over. 

I could easily add all 10 of your bingo card items to my own, I've heard them all over and over. You're right, they are all broken records of me, me, me.

[Jolie40]

NC now
however, topics included:

1) don't feel well (always first thing said)
2) detailed discussion of sickness such as #times of runny butt
seriously it was 19X once....who counts that yuk!
3) going on and on about grandchild #1 and all their accomplishments (child of GC)
4) list of all appts coming up....Dr, dentist, specialist, etc
5) all the things breaking down in house & can husband come over to fix?

[Jolie40]

forgot to add for bingo board:


asked about their grandchild (our child) ?
*never*

[lindentree]

1. sigh
2. criticizes my sister's parenting
3. how she's going to stop taking on clients/projects to have more time for what's important
4. how she just got hired by new clients who want her work so bad
5. where they've been traveling or going to next
6. how the airline screwed her over
7. complain about heart condition
8. share most recent trip to ER
9. comment on her aging
10. if we both start talking at the same time, SHE will be first to continue.
11. gushing about me (idealization/idolizing)
12. trying to find out if we did anything with my father (her ex) or in-laws
13. spilling gossip about dysfunctional family or friends in her home-state
14. starting off convo asking how I am, which is feigned interest and no other questions will be asked about our me or kids
15. how she has really reconnected with a relationship
16. complain about her husband
17. "I don't mean to bore you, but..."
18. some reference to Murphy's law happening to her

[sandpiper]

So funny.
It's been so many years of NC that I'm hard pressed remembering the content of the phone calls, just the horrible feeling in my stomach when they happened.
My contribution that DH commented on is this:
Very wealthy & well-travelled sister (who had a nappy service, a live-in nanny, and a range of staff to do every little thing for her would constantly wail 'I haven't had a holiday for X number of years.'
X being current age of eldest child.
DH got so sick of hearing this - given that this was always preceded by how exhausted they were after their stay at X resort (including the Hotel Versace) that he threatened to ask to see her passport.
Boggling, the complete disconnect.

[p123]

Yep same for me EVERY CALL

1. How ill he is.
2. How depressed he is.
3. How hes got no food in the house.
4. Got a letter from bank saying "changes to terms and conditions. What does that mean? (What do you reckon?)
5. Have you got a proper job yet?
6. Why not get a job in a factory and not mess around trying to be a manager in an office? (I've never ever been a manager - I work as an IT consultant!)
7. Ends up with "hows the familty?"

The last one is hilarious. He doesnt think I've seen the note he leaves for himself by the phone which says "Ask about family" in big letters. Shows how much he cares he does it out of duty!

[SunnyMeadow]

This is great Cat! Here's mine:


1.  My doctor wants me to have a test, I should do it
2.  The vaccines _________
3.  Joe Biden ___________
4.  Dr Fauci ___________
5.  The vaccines part 2 _____________
6.  A neighbor didn't wave at me
7.  I had to call and argue about a bill
8.  I'm on a fixed income
9.  The vaccine part 3 ___________

I'm not going to type what she thinks of these topics because they're very divisive.

Aren't they special? 

I'm on the phone with her right now and I just got the spiel on vaccines, Fauci, some guy's book on the truth about vaccines  , How nobody thinks about her during her stressful times. 

I'm holding the phone away from my ear most of the call. I only have to reply hmm-hmm and oh really? God I hate this SO MUCH. 

[moglow]

Learn to invent "emergencies" a la Woman Interrupted: the cat is on fire again, gotta go byeeeeeeee! Be nice but be firm, the call is OVER.

[Call Me Cordelia]

I would use, "Oh, this is my doctor's office calling."

Then next time, "What did the doctor say?!?!"