Book recommendations for healing from trauma

[OddFamily]

I know many of you have had good results with therapy, and I'm not negating its value. I've had rotten experiences in therapy, between therapists that were bad matches and the process plunging me to new and record lows, my primary and I have agreed that I am a bad match for traditional therapy. We've tried 3 different times with 3 different therapists, and every single time I've emerged worse than when I went in, so we have said no more. We've agreed I need a different approach and that things can't remain as they are now, but she doesn't have any recommendations. She's looking into some other resources, but she's not having success.
I was wondering if any of you have any particular recommendations for workbooks or similar, ones that may employ something a little different to traditional therapy approaches?

[guitarman]

The author and counsellor Kris Godinez specialises in Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome and how targets of abuse can cope better.

She has a list of book recommendations pinned to the top of her Facebook page.

Here is the link to her Facebook page "We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez". She also has a podcast and YouTube channel with the same name.

https://www.facebook.com/Weneedtotalkwithkrisgodinez

I hope this is of help to you. I have found watching Kris Godinez on YouTube very helpful. She always recommends seeing a therapist who specialises in trauma.

[guitarman]

I also practice regular Mindfulness meditations. That has helped me to cope with my undiagnosed BPD/NPD sister.

Many years ago I was prescribed a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course by my GP held over eight weekly sessions. I have been practising Mindfulness ever since.

I follow the Mindfulness teacher Tara Brach online www.tarabrach.com she is also the author of many books.

[guitarman]

The most useful help I have received is by attending monthly mental health carers groups. I have been involved with several different groups for many years. We all share similar but different experiences.

I need to regularly talk about my feelings with other people who really understand what I have experienced over decades of abuse. We all support each other.

Hopefully you should be able to find a carers group from your local carers centre.

[Hilltop]

OddFamily, I read a ton of books which helped originally with validation.  In the beginning I didn't think there was problem, I thought it was just me.  So I read a ton of books.  Some examples which were helpful for me were:
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents & Recovery from Emotionally Immature Parents
- The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist by Debbie Mirza
- Running on empty by Christine Musello and Jonice Webb
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Steven Hayes

I got little bits from each book.  New insights.  I think picking books that relate to what you are going through is key.  ACT by Steven Hayes was the last book I read, just recently.  If I had of read it at the beginning I don't think it would have been so valuable as I wasn't ready to be reading about healing.  The earlier books I read were great for insight and validation and now I am on to reading about healing.  In the ACT by Steven Hayes he does talk about EMDR which is having great success with trauma and PTSD patients.

I have also used recommendations here for youtube videos.  A few people suggested Jerry Wise.  I have found a few of his video's which relate to what I am going through.  There are a ton of youtube video's and they can be very helpful.

Journaling is something I got from the books I read.  At first I just read them but then I made myself go back and do the exercises they had in them.  The writing was therapeutic and I started journaling.  I still journal from time to time when I need to.

I think one of the more helpful exercises for me has been meditations.  In particular inner child meditations.  I don't know what it is about this but I have had some really profound insights from doing this and meditation is something I try to keep up with.  I particularly like Michael Sealy however depending on the trauma you suffered he only recommends this if you are up to it.  If you experienced severe trauma he suggests working through that with a professional.  I can only imagine it would be extremely triggering in some cases.  Of course finding one that works for you is everything, I went through many which simply didn't work for me.  I also like other regular meditations though and find them useful for everyday use.

Lastly I feel a ton better when I eat healthy and exercise.  I must admit this is something I struggle with but it does help.  I have come to see that each time I am triggered a mild episode of depression happens, getting out and exercising helps but of course getting the energy to do that can sometimes be hard.  One of my goals this year is to get to a place where I am exercising every day. 

I hope you find something that works for you.

[CagedBirdSinging]

Hello there, I also have found therapy unsuitable- and also I cannot afford it. I have honestly gained so much from books and online videos. I would second the recommendation of Debbie Mirza - you can look her up on YouTube to get a flavour of her work, and her book is available on Kindle which you can download as an app and read on your phone, if privacy is an issue. Also Dr Ramini has been very helpful for me. As others have said, trying to be mindful and practice good self care is so important. It's something I am still working on. I hope you are able to find some useful material that speaks to you and your situation. Take care

[OddFamily]

Thank you everyone for replying. I just wanted to post a brief update. I did find a therapist where it was a better match and a better approach. It was completely by accident, work had put out a resource list for mental health, and one of them was a listing of therapists who were offering short term therapy for essential workers reduced rate or pro bono. I was looking for some ideas on better ways to manage stress originally, but 1 listing stuck out, I looked at said person's website and it was like he had pulled out what I wanted but didn't believe to be possible. I sent an inquiry in, we talked over the phone a bit, and he agreed to slide me in. I had my first session last week, and it's been good so far.