SIL has COVID...FIL probably does too

[11JB68]

My household just recovered, so hopefully we are temporarily immune.
FIL has always had this hypocritical attitude.... We are not supposed to go see him if any of us has a cold etc, yet we will show up at his house and he's sick!!
Well we all just got over COVID, cancelled visits to FIL obviously. We show up to visit him and he's sick. Tells me SIL who lives downstairs is quarantined as she has it!!! So... Be probably has it!! Yet didn't call to tell us ANY of this!!! At the very least I could have brought him a test. I offered to go shopping for him.... Oh no I'll go... (And spread his germs....).... Unbelievable!
On a more serious note FIL is 89, vaxxed but not boosted, has underlying issues etc.... This could be bad for him.....
We are sitting here, trying not to get too close or touch much of anything... His house is generally not very clean so.... UGH.

[bloomie]

11JB68- Coming face to face with double standards like this is really hard to find patience for.  The gap between how your fil expects his health to be considered and the lack of consideration he shows the health of your family is startling as this exposure could have led to possible illness, quarantine, and potential missed work and school for you all for all he knows.

I hope everyone comes through this without serious complications and am thankful you and your family have some protection against this exposure. It would be one thing if he didn't know he had illness in the house - any contagious illness, and exposure was accidental. This is just a whole different level of selfishness. I can't wrap my mind around this one.

I am curious... did your fil know you all had had the virus?

[11JB68]

Thanks Bloomie. Yes he knew we all had it, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he figures we'd be immune.... But .. What if he just has a bad cold, we could catch that... And neither Ds nor I can show up at work sick as both employers are strict with that now... And Ds gets no pto, just recently missed a week due to covid.
I realize this was a bit of a rant on my part...I was just really upset at the time.... Today I'm feeling more worried about fil...
And the hypocrisy/double standards really do kill me

[bloomie]

11JB68 - I would be upset by this as well. He knowingly exposed you all to a contagious illness which could have big implications to your life. I hope he comes through it well, but boy would I be checking before visiting if anyone in the house is ill every single time going forward.

[palmtreeparadise]

Hmmm - regardless if he knew he had covid or got exposed he should have let you guys know. Its common courtesy and he should have told you about the situation at home before having you guys come over.

My household just recovered, so hopefully we are temporarily immune.
FIL has always had this hypocritical attitude.... We are not supposed to go see him if any of us has a cold etc, yet we will show up at his house and he's sick!!
Well we all just got over COVID, cancelled visits to FIL obviously. We show up to visit him and he's sick. Tells me SIL who lives downstairs is quarantined as she has it!!! So... Be probably has it!! Yet didn't call to tell us ANY of this!!! At the very least I could have brought him a test. I offered to go shopping for him.... Oh no I'll go... (And spread his germs....).... Unbelievable!
On a more serious note FIL is 89, vaxxed but not boosted, has underlying issues etc.... This could be bad for him.....
We are sitting here, trying not to get too close or touch much of anything... His house is generally not very clean so.... UGH.

[Leonor]

Oh yuck!

Would it have been possible to say, Oh, were so sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. We just went through it and it was really exhausting. Well let the two of you recover and we'll reschedule our visit for another time.

Even if you were far from home, you can find a hotel, offer to drop off some groceries, and spend time together. The idea of tiptoeing around trying not to catch germs in a dirty home with two sick relatives is just the ultimate in inlaw churned up nonsense!