The growth that comes after scapegoating, is that the silver lining?

[Blueberry Pancakes]

When my thoughts wander, I occasionally mull over why I was the scapegoat in my FOO. It occurred as a small child and never changed in adulthood, so sort of seemed pre-destined.
     
Until 7 years ago, I never knew about narcissism, scapegoating, or golden children other than in general terms. It was not until I was in so much emotional turmoil and started looking for answers that I found information on these dynamics and the puzzle of my lifetime became crystal clear. I let go of so much, and it began to feel like my life was finally mine.   
         
The last couple years I accomplished things in my career I believe I could not have done in the past due to limiting beliefs and low self-worth. In times of conflict, I found an inner reserve to advocate for myself and hold steady. Nobody taught me these things, I just sort of did it. I am kind of amazed and so grateful. I wonder, is this the sliver lining? Is this what comes with recovering from it? 
             
I am NC with most everyone I grew up with, and VVVLC with elderly parents. It is only when I do talk to my parents, I realize the contrast between their attitudes versus mine. I do not believe there was any "silver lining" or growth for them in having scapegoated me. It seems they are still in that place of need, disappointment, anger. I kind of feel sorry for them, but I believe everyone gets to choose how they respond to the people and things around them and they make that choice every day.

[1footouttadefog]

I think that after any negative in life we can at least walkaway from it with the silver lining if having learned from it.

I am better able to resist being vulnerable to new PD people because of such lessons.