So sad today

[Adria]

I feel so sad and completely flattened.  For the last ten years my dh and I have taken care of schizophrenic son to no avail.  We have gotten him better on many occassions only to have him stop doing the things he is supposed to do to be able to have a nice life.  I don't have the energy to go into it all, but due to the stress and serious health issues with dh and I over it all, we had to cut him out of our lives to save ourselves.  Swore we would never do that, but have no other choice.  I'm so scared for him, so scared for us, so sad because we've seen how he can come right back to normal. He just doesn't seem to want to.  It's as though he likes living in his dellusional world.
Anyway, I could feel it coming for awhile and yesterday something inside me snapped. For the first time in ten years, I have come to the conclusion that if he doesn't help himself, I can't save him either. And, there is nothing i can do with that.  There is no upside to any of this. Anything can happen to him. We will continue to pay his rent until he blows up this living situation as well as he has already blown up his disability, last housing, food stamps, job, etc.  Every time we put it all back together for him, he ruins everything and we have to start over.  I just turned sixty. Have serious health issues because of this, and simply can't do it anymore.  Please pray for us. I'm so exhausted I can hardly type today.

[square]

I will pray for you. This sounds so very hard.

It's a hard to come to realize that we really can't save another person. We do what we can but the other person has to ultimately carry their own weight. And if they don't, they will drag us down with them, and the loss spreads from there. And it will all be for nothing.

Wishing you healing, courage, and peace.

[GentleSoul]

Praying for you.  So sorry to hear of your situation.  Absolutely exhausting. 

Sending you peaceful thoughts too.

[Boat Babe]

This is just awful. I am so sorry Adria. My heart goes out to you. Mental illness is the worst. Much love ❤️

[Associate of Daniel]

I'm so sorry, Adria. Reaching this place with a loved one is awful.  And all the more so when that person is your child.

I pray for your healing and that you'll soon know God's peace and comfort in the situation.

AOD

[notrightinthehead]

So sorry to read your post. Sending you a big hug.

[bee well]

 Adria,

My prayers to you as you and dh process this painful realization about your Son. It is beyond painful to realize there is only so much we can do to help a loved one (and in your case a dear Son) when they are going in this direction....My Prayers also to your Son, that he may "come back" to himself...

I hope you will rest and practice self- care and compassion as you take care of your health. A big hug to you.....
                                                                       ______________________
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time...-Serenity Prayer

[SunnyMeadow]

I'm sorry Adria. Sending caring thoughts and hugs.

[blacksheep7]

I'm so sorry Adria

It is a difficult and extreme situation that takes a difficult and extreme decision.  Nothing hurts more than the pain and challenge that our child gives us that we can not control.

Don't forget that you did your best.

[Adria]

Thank you so much everyone! Your prayers and words of comfort and understanding mean more than you can ever know. Adria

[Kat54]

I'm so sorry Adria. It's a dramatic decision that I know you could not take lightly. But to save yourself it's all you can do.

It's so hard to get into the head of a mentally ill person. To want them to lead a good life for themselves and see them thrive and do it on their own.

I will keep you in my thoughts and pray for better days with you and for your son.

[SonofThunder]

So sorry this is occurring Adria.  My thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

SoT